Skip to main content

Sipa

NABAGSAKAN ng batong buhay sa sapa, putol ang isang buto sa daliri ng kaliwang paa… at the hospital where I was goaded into going, it had to be told that the left foot kept smarting… and if it keeps on doing so, it may get smarter and smarter and ask to be sent to graduate school, or worse, every digit be listed up as legitimate voter.

Wheeled in for confinement, my opinion about room temperature was sought by a shapely nurse aide, “Would like it warmer or colder, sir?”

Instant wicked retort:
“Gusto ko hot na hot! Good for camaraderie and bedminton, let’s turn up the heat.”

That sent her in stitches… it would have been most appropriate in such inconceivable occasion for her to be without a stitch on… that’s conducive to a hard-on.

(That was a senior moment: I thought she wanted it rough, was asking to be pinioned, uh, and that’s still an honest opinion.)


Enero 17, 2010 ang ikalawang araw sa ospital, isinilang doon ang ikalawang apo, si Oyayi!

“Persons born on the 8th, 17th or 26th of any month represent Saturn-- ruler of fate and giver of pain and misery. They are tall with thick hair; walk facing the ground, respect family prestige… are calm, simple, duty-bound, patient, untiring, studious at work, reserved in talk and measure the words as they possess higher wisdom.” That suits my grandson who’ll get to learn on his gramps’ knees in the days to come…


Uh, quite tough growing if there’s difficulty in going—kaya kahit iika-ika, nagtutungo pa rin sa silid ng mag-ina para makita ang apo… na ipagdiriwang nga ang unang kaarawan sa taong ito.

Balik-tanaw na rin pati sa nabaling buto—buto as in bone. Puwede na uling maglaro ng sipa, sipa as in kick… titigas talaga at titibay ang mga hita at binti sa pasipa-sipa. Sa mga bisig nga’y kailangang magtakal ng tig-100 kaldag… pero dalawang sipa lang yata, sipa, sipa or kick, kick… teka muna, bakit iba yata ang tumitigas?

Pero sa pulitika, meron ngang tinatawag na paraan para magkamal ng limpak… sipa at tiyaga—in short, kickbacks.

Matapos nga ang kakatwang aksidente, pinagbawalan na ang inyong imbing lingkod na magtungo pa sa sapa na kalapit sa aming tahanan sa Bulacan… humahango do’n ng tubig na isinasalin sa imbakan ng La Mesa Dam… baka raw kasi subukan kong buhusan ng kung anumang pamuksang biochemical weapons ang tubig, mwa-ha-ha-haw!

Professions of undying love, invitations to wine tasting sessions, paternity suits, e-tickets for two to Coron or Busuanga, notifications of dividends on shares of stocks and other useful things may be sent to habalakibur@hotmail.com.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this:

"Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well."

Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass.

When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-destruct. T…

KASI NANLABAN

Viagra au naturel

IT LOOKED eerie—a blaze of fireflies pulsing like stars in the nippy air, throbbing with mating passions. That show of lights somehow eased the shadows of a Holy Thursday night on a dry river bed a few kilometers trudge up Mount Makiling.

It’s likely that no river has lain in sleep for months on that moss-grown, boulder-strewn bed—except my 20-year old kid Kukudyu and I. We were out to spend the night, do on-site learning sessions by the next day. Usual father-and-son bonding. As the late Benjamin Franklin once begged: "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Past noon from the foot of the mountain’s northern section, it took us four hours ploughing non-stop through prickly bushes and forest undergrowth to get to that site. We got there in one bruised piece. By then, dusk was falling; the sylvan air hummed with a trill of crickets, cicadas, critters nameless in choral orison. That incessant “sh-r-r-e-eemmm---“ layered with “k-kr-r-eeengg--” …