Skip to main content

Halalan na!

BLESSED be!

Chew the cud of that. Feel a humming thrum, a vibrant throb in bundled words that bring wonders. There’s magic in ‘em words of blessing.

Remember Jacob’s ruse we were told of in Sunday school? He got his ailing father’s blessings—just a clutch of mumbled words-- that were meant for the first-born brother Esau. Worded blessings were deemed as birthright for the eldest, how could shameless Jacob rob a sibling just like House of Rep denizens on a sally at the nation’s coffers for pork barrel chunks?

Spoken blessings must have been a big deal to ‘em both Israelites and Ismaelites.

One Dr. Masaru Emoto confirms the impact of blessings. He snapped photographs of polluted water with a dark-light microscope. A Buddhist monk pronounced blessings over the water sample—and voila! The messy, ugly molecules have turned into beautiful symmetric patterns.

Say, water makes up for about two-thirds of the human body. Blessings are likely to cause certain transformations in the body fluids. Changes like that are also likely to affect body parts and functions, probably good bowel movement, better vaginal lubrication or easy engorgement on the penile shaft for a more satisfying engagement. There’s really not much research done on these areas of interest.

We suspect the same changes are effected when livestock is rendered as hal’al or fit for human consumption. Praises and prayers to the Almighty are said before the animal is butchered, its blood spilt. The process is simply saying grace way ahead of turning the animal carcass into a meal.

Famished infidels and heathens may skip the saying of grace and just dig in, wolf down the dirt-cheap national food staple—a P5 packet of instant noodles in a bucket of kunsumisyon, ehek, we mean consommé.

We can never tell what’s with these starving populace these days as they lick their chops and drool over the Cha-cha dancing denizens of the House of Rep whose unappetizing ways are a tad reptilian.

For all we care, those famished millions might be working up an appetite and would soon render ‘em tough-to-digest Reptilian ways into something edible. The process is called hal’al.

The ensuing grim rigmarole is called halalan.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this: "Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well." Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass. When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-de

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky