Skip to main content

Dance, dunce, dance!

A LOOMING water shortage won’t be much of a worry to certain species of reptiles. They can slow down their own signs of life, say breathing, gorging on food or taking water to keep body mass intact. They can play half-dead—the exact term is hibernation which sounds too close to nation. Reptiles like that are, for short, called Rep.

A liter of water costs more than a liter of premium gas any time. But sometimes a few drops of spittle turn out to be costlier burden on a consumer or taxpayer’s pockets. Say, the sort of spittle that time and again mists the august halls of the House of Rep.

We can zero in on one instance. Our reporter Tita C. Valderama’s story which saw print December 1, 2006 bore this four-decker: “GMA’s allies: Cha-cha more important than water crisis.”

Wow! That report was as mouth-watering as the waxed-neat fringes about the cleft ‘tween Britney Spears’ thighs that we see a lot of these days.

So we can drool and revel over the revelation.

As the Valderama report bears out, out the House of Rep. window went any discussion about an impending water crisis. Unceremoniously ditched like Britney Spears’ panties. Most of ‘em in that gathering of honorable Rep. wanted to do spray-drip irrigation of collective spittle on another topic more suited to their appetites.

Like that Spears letting her hair down, shedding her knickers, gamboling and gambling and plying the all-night party circuit, they just want to dance.

Cha-cha!

They’re probably keeping an eye on the P129-billion war chest of Malacañang’s—a chest like that’s more interesting than even the public display of nether lips of a Britney Spears. Plain folks won’t even bother with splitting pubic hairs over trifles over exposed labia majora or the House of Rep. majority. We’re adults. We’ve seen things that can make kids cringe. Nobody can tell us which is obscene, which isn’t.

A P129-billion war chest ought to take care of cloud seeding to bring rain to certain parched parts of the country. At about P5 million per planeload of salt to be dispersed above fat clouds to induce rainfall, that multi-billion chest can go a long way in averting threats of drought, crop failures, water crisis and cash shortages among Palace devotees.

If all else fails, we can import shamans, warlocks and wonder-workers among the Sioux and Navajo nations. They can conjure rainstorms by a quaint rite. Something called rain dance.

Or we call on the gathering at the House of Rep. to devise something that can crank out downpours. They’ll improvise a rain dance.

Cha-cha!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this: "Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well." Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass. When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-de

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky