Saturday, December 02, 2006

From dandruff to brain tumor

ADVERTISING folks from their minute-to-minute multi-media bombardment would have us believe the nation’s most compelling problem is dandruff, damaged hair, whatever distresses the tresses.

We’d like to buy that with a view to an expression of deepest condolence to whatever afflicts the spouse of Malacañang’s top resident.

The affliction, we’d hazard a guess, might be a bad case of split ends which any hair salon denizen would diagnose pronto with an appropriate shampoo and certain chemicals that can induce something called hair relax. Or a bit of hair rebond. Whatever.

It ain’t a headful of karma or which some would call as bad pate, bald fate, whichever sinks in conveniently.

As yesterday’s reports have it Gloria and her consort were rushed to St. Luke’s Medical Center in Quezon City. Most people did an eeny-meeny-miney-mo as the most convenient tool to divine which one was ailing.

Those 43 newsmen and newshens facing libel charges filed by the consort are likely to wish wishes that are up to no good. Wishcraft isn’t a felony yet in the law books so they can wish upon stars, wish upon stars and stripes, wish into wishing wells. Such wishes won’t wash.

Even crusty deskbound newspeople and broadcast loudmouths are plying wild guesses with a lot of bets and odds thrown in to keep the guessing game more interesting.

Malacañang insiders are hardly of any help. One spokesman would gush it was the consort goping through a thorough medical check-up. Then comes another spokesman saying it was the missus getting a check-up.

With a lot of nasty rumors hurled smack into the guessing game, a wee maggot grows by word of mouth into a gargantuan anaconda. In the telling and retelling, even a mild case of dandruff transmogrifies into terminal brain tumor.

How we love this game, why, your guess isn’t as any bad as ours.

But we’ll keep on guessing. Nice national pastime to keep people’s minds off the more telling problems that bedevil ‘em.

Let’s keep guessing…

And guessing…

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