Skip to main content

From dandruff to brain tumor

ADVERTISING folks from their minute-to-minute multi-media bombardment would have us believe the nation’s most compelling problem is dandruff, damaged hair, whatever distresses the tresses.

We’d like to buy that with a view to an expression of deepest condolence to whatever afflicts the spouse of Malacañang’s top resident.

The affliction, we’d hazard a guess, might be a bad case of split ends which any hair salon denizen would diagnose pronto with an appropriate shampoo and certain chemicals that can induce something called hair relax. Or a bit of hair rebond. Whatever.

It ain’t a headful of karma or which some would call as bad pate, bald fate, whichever sinks in conveniently.

As yesterday’s reports have it Gloria and her consort were rushed to St. Luke’s Medical Center in Quezon City. Most people did an eeny-meeny-miney-mo as the most convenient tool to divine which one was ailing.

Those 43 newsmen and newshens facing libel charges filed by the consort are likely to wish wishes that are up to no good. Wishcraft isn’t a felony yet in the law books so they can wish upon stars, wish upon stars and stripes, wish into wishing wells. Such wishes won’t wash.

Even crusty deskbound newspeople and broadcast loudmouths are plying wild guesses with a lot of bets and odds thrown in to keep the guessing game more interesting.

Malacañang insiders are hardly of any help. One spokesman would gush it was the consort goping through a thorough medical check-up. Then comes another spokesman saying it was the missus getting a check-up.

With a lot of nasty rumors hurled smack into the guessing game, a wee maggot grows by word of mouth into a gargantuan anaconda. In the telling and retelling, even a mild case of dandruff transmogrifies into terminal brain tumor.

How we love this game, why, your guess isn’t as any bad as ours.

But we’ll keep on guessing. Nice national pastime to keep people’s minds off the more telling problems that bedevil ‘em.

Let’s keep guessing…

And guessing…

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina...

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky...

Wealth garden

‘TWAS CRUEL as smashing a budding green thumb: some years back, an abuela warned me about letting any clump of katigbi (Job’s tears or Coix lachrymal jobi for you botanists) from growing in our homeyard. That grass with rapier-like leaves that smelled of freshly pounded pinipig supposedly invited bad luck and sorrows—why, that biblical character Job wailed and howled a lot, didn’t he? (But was later rewarded with oodles of goodies, wasn’t he?) Then, I came across some arcane text that practically goaded folks to grow katigbi in their gardens—why, there’s a starchy kernel wrapped shut in the seed’s shiny coat. A handful or more of kernels could be cooked as porridge. Too, one could whisper a wish upon seven seed pods, throw ‘em pods in running water—a river or stream—and the wish would be granted! I was warned, too, about planting kapok or talisay trees right in the homeyard—these trees form a cross-like branching pattern. Pasang-krus daw ang bahay na kalapit sa puno ng kapok, tal...