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Gagambanat


PAWANG babae pala, Podying, ang mga panagupang gagamba na kinalolokohan ngayon… sweet are the ways of philogyny, ah, such passion for women… napabalita pa nga, pinatay ng isang binatilyo ang kalaro niya, talo sa saputan ang inilaban, napikon.

Panis na balita kaugnay sa gagambakbakan-- isinusugal ang isang gabing siping sa asawa… o tempora, o mores… h’wag nang ungkatin ang lunan. Labanang babae sa samputol na tinting o tangkay, gantimpala’y kutinting sa maybahay.

Gagambang aso ang nakagisnan kong tawag sa tanod ng hiblang bahay ng mas malaking gagamba… orb spider, Araneus diadematus… ‘yun palang aso ang bantatay, tagabulog sa mas mabangis na kasarian ng gagamba…

Gano’n din ang gawi ng makamandag na black widow, tagalahi lang ang munting lalaki… ‘kikikain lang din sa anumang kulisap na mabibitag sa lambat na inilatag… NPA o naging palamuning asawa kaya matapos sumiping, lalantakan ni misis si mister… black widow na.

Kapag ganito ang napapanahong libangan ng mga musmos at matanda, talagang magiging alumpihit, lalo na silang kuntento sa gawi ng gagambang aso… hindi panlaban, pambulog na lang ang pakinabang at kung sablay pa, that is, he isn’t a family member of good standing… paano pa titindig ang haligi ng kantahanan?

Tinanggap ko ‘yung alok ng dati kong tauhan sa diyaryo noon… scriptwriter, P3k per 30-minuter… piece of cake, para lang maglalatag, hahayuma ng lambat na pansapot… ah, I didn’t have to look for this job, it came looking for me. It found me.

‘Yung aplikasyon sa naghahanap daw ng the best and the brightest, insulto ang isinalang ko do’ng cover letter… “Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage-- to move in the opposite direction,” hirit nga ni Fritz Schumaker, the thinker who wrote “Small is Beautiful: Economics As If People Mattered.”

I’d rather write whatever spills out as me, terse and taut like a piano string lined with industrial diamonds and wound about a victim’s neck, efficiency with muted sangfroid in skimming over lacunae and minutiae of details… sensual, silly yet sexy.


And never loud. I guess loudmouths are fitted out in small minds.

A little fund, a lot of fun… payment in dimes and great times
—ganoon lang naman ang masayang pasukan, something that dovetails with one’s core values, whatever passes for fighting faith… ay, character is a long-standing habit, even if it happens to be the tumescent glow between my thighs, mwa-ha-ha-haw!

Bukod sa gagambang kalabaw na naglatag ng pamamahay sa duklay ng balite’t buhong tsina, nakasumpong ako kamakailan ng tatlong Araneus diadematus sa ating halamanan… every small responsibility fulfilled brings a pride of greater responsibilities, more to my liking.

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