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Binusising buhay


“Kilalanin ang sarili. Huwag nang ituloy ang sariling buhay na hindi sinuri.”
Socrates

TIYAK na lalagapak noon ang tukod-bintana sa tumbong matapos akong makipagbabag… isusumbong sa aking abuela ng inang bitbit ang anak na nakasapakan… na sarado ang mata, basag ang ilong o tadyang, bali ang bisig… kasalanan ba kung inalam ko ang mga pinakamahinang bahagi ng katawan— para laging lamang sa laban?

Sa pagtanda, lalong sininop ang ganoong kaalaman… kinesiology para tukoy ang mga naturang bahagi habang gumagalaw… dim muk para masapol ang mga dudutduting tuldok sa katawan—malaki, maliit, katamtaman, pare-parehong katawan lang-- para malumpo o tuluyang matigok…

Bakit gano’n?

“Experts notice features and meaningful patterns of information that are not noticed by novices.

“Experts have acquired a great deal of content knowledge that is organized in ways that reflect a deep understanding of their subject matter.”

Aba’y meron na naman kasing nagparamdam… ‘papasulat daw ng libro’t magtatawaran muna sa presyo ng serbisyo.

Siyempre, isisiwalat ng magpapasulat ang kanyang mga ginawa’t pinagdaanan sa buhay… just to point up his earthly existence made a difference, made love or made sense… most just made money, a lot of noise, or made others suffer. And they think they had it made.

May naunang lumagapak-- editor ang papel ko-- na ganitong proyekto… nagpapagawa ng marangyang bungalow mula ilang pirasong kahoy at sansakong semento… hikahos sa mga matitipon, matitipunong sangkap para makabuo ng matinong libro… gusto kong dagukan ang mga naghalungkat ng ganoong sangkap, hindi nagbungkal ng tinatawag na meaningful patterns of information… nagsayang lang ng panahon sa pagpanayam sa nagpapasulat.

Suffer anyone to wants have his book to talk his head off… makipagtuos sa mga ginawa niya sa kanyang buhay… makipagkilala’t magsuri siya sa kanyang sarili… the more details he can ply, the messier, the merrier the stuff that can be sawn, planed, joined and sanded fine into a pithy tome.

O parang mga batong hiyas ang bawat gawa, isa-isang kikinisin saka tutuhugin upang maitanghal na kuwintas.

O parang mga hiblang titipunin upang makahabi ng marangya, marikit na arras… o lulubirin upang maibigkis sa leeg para makapagpatiwakal.

Para lumitaw… siya talaga ang nagkuwenta ng kanyang buhay, ako lang ang nagkuwento. Res ipsa loquitor, his life will speak for itself.

Busisiin niya ang sarili niyang buhay… papel alahero lang sa magsusulat… magtatabas, magkikinis, magtutuhog sa mga butil ng batong hiyas.

Aba’y hindi kasama dito ang batugan, kupal at kumag… na sa halip usisain ang sarili, pamumuhay ng iba ang uungkatin, pilit kakalkalin… kasi walang matinong kuwento’t lalong kuwenta ang kanilang buhay.

A life invested with meaning is worth more than a quantum of words in volumes.

Sa walang kuwento’t kuwenta, an’daling lapatan ng kataga—pwe-he-he-he-he!

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