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Porcos ante margaritas


MUSMOS pa nang makamulatan na meron palang larong siklot—pulos mumunting bato lang, sandosena, sasapuhin sa lukong ng palad… ihahagis pataas, may masasalo sa likod ng palad… ang mga nahulog, connect those huge dots on the playing surface.

‘Baboy’ ang tawag sa maisusubing bato bawat naipanalong yugto ng siklot… sa ganoong lapat-kamay na paglilibang isinalang ang napakahabang kamusmusan, kaya umaalingasaw na mga ulbuan ng baboy ang natipon… a lot of pigsties for your eyes and probable pork barrels to satisfy many a lawmaker’s rapacity.

Diablolo na talaga ngayon. Walang humpay na humaharurot sa higit na 50 panahon ng tag-ulan at tag-araw, and unleashing an unbroken garland of swine before pearls… porcos ante margaritas… so sinfully deviant, unheeding of the Messiah’s counsel not to scatter pearls before swine, margaritas ante porcos, lest the gems be trampled underfoot and maybe ground to a powder… uh, pulverized pearls have been added to special facial creams concocted by Chinese apothecaries who believed that such a preparation results in flawless complexion.

Kasi naman ngayon, may inferiority complexion daw ang hindi nagtataglay ng singkinis inidorong kutis… kaya maraming nagpapasaksak o lumalaklak ng balde-baldeng glutathione upang pumuti ang balat na kayumanggi.

Mutya—isa pang katuturan ng perlas sa silangan. Hindi talaga ihinahalo sa mga baboy na kinukutya, magkatugma pero hindi magkatugon ang mutya at kutya.

Idagdag pa na sa mga kawan nga ng baboy itinaboy at pinapasok ng Mesiyas ang sampulutong ng mga demonyo… hindi ko matandaan-- Sunday school is such a far-flung childhood memory— if ‘twas Legion or Religion the name they owned up to…

In any case, my Latin tells me legion or ligare suggests a binding, lashing, tying up in knots… so religion must be those diabolical ties that bind and refers to Metro Manila traffic that’s often tied up in tangled knots and nooses… what a demonic show of Filipino religiosity!

So I’ve got my flocks of ravening pigs with demons dwelling in them, tended and multiplied many times over since childhood… all you’ve got are your pearls of wishdom, pwe-he-he-he!

Napagsabihan pa nga noon ng mga matatanda na nagiging matigas daw ang ulo ng mga batang madalas maglaro ng siklot… baka naman pamahiin lang ‘yon, hindi naman kasi nila tinukoy kung aling ulo ang titigas.

Saka, wala namang mahalungkat na masama sa mga baboy… pinagagala noon sa lawak ng mga tiwangwang na lupain magbubungkal ng truffles, magkalat ng dumi… once the land is infused with manure and turned many times over, it becomes fit for growing crops… haram o bawal kainin sa mga Muslim at Hudyo… there’s this abiding belief that you are what you eat.

Ah, a pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

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