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BLOWN JOB OPENING


I'd rather go between a maiden's both legs opening than have a go into dubious job openings.

MAGHUNOS-DILI muna, katotong Willy Valdez… bago ituloy ang binabalak— a first of its kind in world’s annals of crime, elevator hijacking!—upang itorotot sa buong Pilipinas na ang mga tulad mong lampas edad-50, hindi na dapat mangarap na tatanggapin pa sa trabaho.

Aba’y batikan ka na rin naman sa racket science at pakikinabangan ang ganyang kakayahan… napakaraming korporasyon ang may dirt-poor, if not downright miserably destitute image problem. Parang taong-grasa na nanlilimahid sa libag, wala namang kalibog-libog.

Kailangan nila ang mga dalubhasang kagaya mo… para ipaglubluban sila sa dagat ng deodorant… at banlawan sa swimming pool ng pabango.

Nakalkal ko ‘to sa JobOpenings.ph, dalawang puwesto ang bakante sa International Container Terminal Services Inc. sa Port Area, Manila… public relations assistant, public relations officer… aba’y mas mahirap pang humarap sa mabotehang usapan kaysa pumapel sa ganyang gawain.

Astig na kompanya, ‘di ba? "Established by Filipino businessman Enrique K. Razon whose family has been managing harbors in the Philippines for three generations... incorporated on December 24, 1987... cited by the Asian Development Bank as one of the top five major maritime terminal operators in the world."

Astig din ang kanilang proyekto sa Isla Puting Bato, kalapit sa alingasaw ng Smokey Mountain sa Tondo, Manila… nakapagtambak na pala ng 12-ektaryang lupa sa Manila Bay nitong nakaraang dalawang taon… pero ni hindi ipinaalam sa Manila City Hall!

That’s a PR—oblem… kailangan ng community relations specialist, kailangan ng PRoblem solver… kaya naghahagilap ang ICTSI ng “public relations assistant, public relations officer.” That’s something right up your alley.

Naamuyan kasi ng Manila City Hall ang singaw-alingasaw.

Kahit pisong duling hindi nagbabayad ng buwis at iba pang mga kailangang bayarin ang ICTSI sapul masimulan ito, ayon kay Manila Vice Mayor Isko Moreno, na “nakatimbog” sa ginawang “panggugulang” at “katusuhan” ng kumpanya.

Tuso man ang matsing, unggoy pa rin… gusto pang palabasin na karaniwang tambangan o 12-hectare berths ng mga barko ang kanilang ginagawa doon.

Kung hindi ba naman talagang hambog ang kumpanyang ito, ayon kay VM Moreno, aba’y daig pa pala ang Amerika sa ginagawang pagdedma sa kapangyarihan ng mga pinuno ng lungsod.

“Kung ang U.S. Embassy nga na may ‘sovereign status’ nagpapaalam sa amin sa tuwing may itinatayong mga gusali sa loob ng bakuran nito, bakit naman ang ICTSI, hindi man lang ito magawa?” ani VM Isko.

P’reng Willy, mukhang hindi lang public relations officer or assistant ang magiging trabaho mo sa ICTSI… baka gawin kang Ambassador Plenipotentiary of the Secessionist Republic of ICTSI in Isla Puting Bato… job title pa lang, talagang tindi ng dating.

H’wag nang mag-atubili at magpatumpik-tumpik… kailangang kailangan ng ganitong kumpanya ang mga pusakal, este, batikang kagaya mo…

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