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F4

FIND them. Fix them. Finish them. F—k them… that’s infantry tack.

On a subliminal level, infantry writing grabs a reader between the ears and the thighs with a slant that engages the basic human instincts, ah, (1) feeding, (2) fighting, (3) fleeing, and (4) whatever F word that becomes flesh in emission testing centers occupied for a short time by a couple.

Higit sandosenang kabataan ang nakinig sa ‘kin… nagsimula akong pumutak ikasiyam ng umaga… tanghalian na nang mairaos ang salsal-salin-aralin… mainam ang kinalabasan, pulos nanlalagkit na naman ang pukol ng tingin ng mga tinuruan.

Kasunod ang kainan… tanghalian na kasi… binayaran ako ng kung ilang libong piso lang sa ganoong panayam… inimbita kasi ‘kong magsalita ng isang kaibigang opisyal sa Army… so I indulged them, left most of them in stitches… and had they given me more time, I would likely have left some of them without a stitch on and done with my liberties.

(‘Yung kalapit-bahay na gunggong, pumuputak ‘yon buong maghapon at magdamag, walang bayad kahit singkong duling… wala ring bayag… alinman sa F4 ng pamumuhay, bokya ang kukote no’n. Gano’ng klaseng bobo ang napipika sa ginagawa ko, magsusumbong pa ‘yon sa punong barangay ng Ciudad Real—na hindi mahagilap--uupakan daw ako, pwe-he-he-he!)

Aquila non captat muscas… dumadagit ba ang limbas ng langaw?

Nakatikim din naman kami ng mas mahilab, P15,000 for a three-hour lecture for fledgling journalists. Food drinks and lodging tossed in. And I get to put to a test whatever my young wards have learned in my talk… ah, it’s wickedly fun to engage young minds. I teach to learn… to open, maybe hearts or minds… basta may bukas na hinaharap o bukang liwayway na hinahanap, masayang pasukan.

Kinesthetics… ‘yun lang ang isinasalin ko sa mga bata, that’s a keen appreciation for movement in a sphere of activity. Nagkataon lang na ang kinabihasaan ay (1) pagsusulat, (2) paghahalaman, (3) pagluluto, at (4) pananandata. Saklaw ng apat na ‘yon ang masinop, masigasig o masagisag at masining na mga kilos. Cura nihil aliud nisi ut valeas, diin pa mandin ni Cicero, huwag ituon ang pansin sa iba liban sa mga kayang gawin nang magaling.

Ah, infants like me can enjoy infantry in a manner adults enjoy adultery.

Heto, kakaladkarin ni National Press Club legal counsel Toto Causing para magbigay daw ng panayam sa mga peryodista sa lalawigan ng Rizal ngayong Setyembre… gratis et amore daw.

Sige, gratis na kung gratis… eh, paano na ‘yung et amore?

‘Buti pa ‘yung kumpanyang sinapian ni KapiTan Lucio, kinuha uli ako’t isinalampak sa lupon ng inampalan, kikilatis sa mga sulatin at sinulat ng mga peryodista sa iba’t ibang lupalop ng bansa…

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