Skip to main content

Basbas sa sabsab

TIYAK tatamaan ng erectile dysfunction kapag nasilaw sa kuwarta.

Aba’y sa babae ‘yan, sa lalaki—kuwarto.

Hindi nakakasilaw ang nanlalagkit na alkitrang karimlan sa kuwarta ng babae… ‘kakasikipantalon nga’t talagang sinasaliksik o kaya’y sinasalaksak ang hiwaga ng hiwa… lalo na kapag naglalawa… that’s how you treat money— perra, female mutt, bitch.

Sa ganitong dahilan kaya nahawa sa isang kakatwang gawi… nilalakipan ng basbas ang sabsab, the saying of grace before feasting on a yummy thing… maituturing din na sabsab din ‘yang kuwarta—litmus tests show that such a delight is slightly acidic, parang sinigang o manggang manibalang—kaya kailangan din ng basbas… bago sumibasib sa paglapang.

Hindi paspasan—no quickie, no premature ejaculation here—kundi basbasan. And the latter lusts, oops, lasts.

Pansinin na nabasbasan ang sabsaban dahil doon iniluwal ang Messiah… and He shall reign forever and ever.

“Be a blessing, be blessed. Go and multiply. Return to me a millionfold.”


Mantakin kung ipupunla ang ganyang basbas-kulamnista o orasyong mangkokolum sa kuwartang may kalakip na kambal na ngiti—‘yung bagong P500… uh, certain findings show that giving away P250 touches off happiness in the giver, so a P500 gift translates to what the Chinese call as “double happiness.”

Muniin na masunuring alipin, alila, alalay or even a retinue of myrmidon infantrymen ang tahasang pagturing sa kuwarta… hindi panginoon— na umiiral na pagtingin sa kuwarta.

As St. Luke had it worded: “No servant can be the slave of two masters; he will either hate the first and love the second, or treat the first with respect and the second with scorn. You cannot be the slave both of God and of money.”

Money’s myrmidon, not Lord Mammon to be served or be subservient to
—oo na nga, naglisaw at naglipana ang mga pusong Mammon sa sambayanan.

With such a firm, even tumescent awareness of faith on monay—misspelling intended—they’ll just come and come and come and come and keep on coming, mwa-ha-ha-ha-happy holidays!

Kahit naman ungkatin pa si Congressmanny Pacquiao, tiyak na igigiit ang kanyang karanasan sa pakikipagbimbangan sa ruweda… “It is better to give than to receive.”

Teka, kabilang ang inyong imbing lingkod na nagagalak sa nadagdag na ngiti sa mga hilatsang limbag sa mga salaping papel ng Pilipinas.

Marami ang noon pa’y umaangal na duling na nga ang ating singko, pulos nakasimangot o galit pa ang mga mukhang nakadungaw sa mga pambayad sa pananagutan—parang masama ang loob o sumusulak ang ngitngit na magbayad sa mga bayaring obligasyon.

Such contagious grim and glum profiles ought to give way to icons that ply out winsome smiles.

Pero kahit sodium bicarbonate ang ikaskas sa ngipin ng bayani upang kumislap sa kinang pati hilatsang itatambad, tatamaan ng erectile dysfunction kapag nasilaw sa kuwarta.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina...

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky...

Wealth garden

‘TWAS CRUEL as smashing a budding green thumb: some years back, an abuela warned me about letting any clump of katigbi (Job’s tears or Coix lachrymal jobi for you botanists) from growing in our homeyard. That grass with rapier-like leaves that smelled of freshly pounded pinipig supposedly invited bad luck and sorrows—why, that biblical character Job wailed and howled a lot, didn’t he? (But was later rewarded with oodles of goodies, wasn’t he?) Then, I came across some arcane text that practically goaded folks to grow katigbi in their gardens—why, there’s a starchy kernel wrapped shut in the seed’s shiny coat. A handful or more of kernels could be cooked as porridge. Too, one could whisper a wish upon seven seed pods, throw ‘em pods in running water—a river or stream—and the wish would be granted! I was warned, too, about planting kapok or talisay trees right in the homeyard—these trees form a cross-like branching pattern. Pasang-krus daw ang bahay na kalapit sa puno ng kapok, tal...