MANGKOKOLUM!

Lahad ng anak sa doodles11006@yahoo.com: W ASN’T able to deposit my salary for the month, ang haba kasi ng pila on the remittance centers that I usually have my hard earned dough sent and we only go down once a month to do so. I might be able to deposit it by next year. How are things doing there on your end? Couldn’t help but laugh at my niece's facial expressions on your Facebook profile, ha-ha-ha-ha (ugly starfish hands). Posted some on my Friendster photos as part of my family album, ganda ni Mama du’n sa pic na nakita ko on your posted photos, a lot of my friends commented on it. ( May pinagmanahan pala daw .) It’s a holiday up to the 10th here, so far the cold is still tolerable; it’s hadj time at Mecca. At least I get to have some rest for a few days, with pay. Ayos ‘yung laban ni Pacquiao kaso ‘ala masyadong thrill unlike his previous fights. I was expecting a brawl. Tipid tipid muna , things are still looking gloomy. I find it funny that there is still that complacency...

BALIBAG- TEXT : “Wg mo madaliin bos ung buk. Take ur tym. Writer ka.” Sent: 31-Oct-2008 14:19:43 S ALA’AM at salamat sa payong katoto. Iba ang nakikinig sa mga hiling ng sariling katawan, lalo sa tulad kong pagsasalansan ng mga kataga— logos na may rhema (kaakibat na poder o kapangyarihan sa pagbigkas) o baka rayuma kung hindi gayuma-- ang kabuhayan… salamat din sa paanyaya sa pagsalunga muli sa bahagi ng Sierra Madre sa dakong loob ng Montalban… para isalong at maipahinga ang mga pasanin sa isipan. Kayang ibsan ng kabundukan ang mga ganoong dalahin. Nabanggit ng panganay kong anak na kabilang sa mga aklat na binasa niya sa mga natipon ko ang “Necronomicon”—kalipunan ng mga patay na panalangin at pangalan. Karaniwang nakapagitan sa Bibliya, Koran, at Bhagavad-Gita ang naturang aklat. Para maibsan ang kakatwang alimuom nito mula sa samut-saring sagisag ng mga limot na bathala at mga nakalahad na mga panalangin at pangalang nakapaloob doon. An instructor from one of the leading state u...

Ngitngit ng anak sa doodles11006@yahoo.com: I N a workers’ strike in one of our company’s camps, a Saudi guard, a Nepalese camp coordinator and an employee from the human resource department were mauled. The mauling stemmed from an unjust memo posted by the Administration office. Apparently, Sri Lanka and Nepal nationals got fed up with some company policies. Such anger was rubbing off on Filipinos there and as reports put it, they were likely to join the strike and they were asking us if we would support them. Most of us weren’t saying whether we would or not. To "play it safe.” The strike bore fruit-- the company gave in to the demands of the entire Sri-Lankan and Nepalese communities, while Filipinos were left to envy their unity over such a cause which benefited them greatly. OFWs wanted to play it safe. Ngatngat ng ama sa noqualmasabomb@yahoo.com: H INDI ko na isinama sa pitak na ‘to na isusuplong ka ng mga kasamahan mong Penoy bugok sa mga nakatataas sa kompanya. Ayaw mo kas...

P AKANTOT…hoy, bantot ang amoy ng dollars Kaya nagsiguro ang ating generals Burong Candaba na ang dala-dalang cash Kahit na idaan saanmang laundry wash. Dahil Amerika’y sobra sa dayukdok Pati buong mundo ay ibig ilublob Sa dilim at lalim ng pagkabusabos Idadamay tayo hanggang sa mahuthot... Nagpakabundat na saka lumagapak Sa bangin ng utang sila ay sumadsad Bilyun-bilyong dollars nalustay, nalaspag Kawawang taxpayers pa ang magbabayad. Kaya nang umalis mga punong pulis Batutang matulis pati mga misis Katiting na pera ang kanilang bitbit Kung dollars ang dala, baka pa sumabit. Baka nga mapika mga taga-Russia Kung pesos dos cientos kanilang dinala Sakaling masipat naroong kartada Kawawang sisipat baka pa masuka… One hundred five thousand euros ang nasamsam Na pambili yata ng vodka and caviar … Baka ihahanda na bagong almusal Nilang mga kampon nitong Malakanyang. Bundat na ang tiyan busog pa ang bulsa Mga gobernador pati konggresista Kapag sa Palasyo nag-almusal sila Meron nang palamon...

S UMISIPA kasi sa isipan ang mga titik at himig ng awit. Kaya nang minsang nahagingan ng mga titik mula lumang awitin—salin-awit ang tawag-- sa pambansang pulong ng mga manunulat, nakigaya na rin. Ako lang ang pusakal na manunulot sa kalipunang iyon. Napabilang man sa koro sa simbahan nitong nakalipas na panahon, talagang hindi na mauulit ang ginawa ko minsang pagkanta— a capella pa mandin—ng “ Enter Sandman ” ng Metallica saanmang kalipunan ng mga sugapa sa videoke . Uki lang ang tahasang kinagiliwan-- ibuka man ang mga labi niyon, hindi kailanman magiging palakanta ang matagal nang kinagigiliwan at kinagigigilan. Sa halip na salin-awit, matagal nang nasubukan ang salsalin-lawit and its consequent cunt thoughts . Napag-initan na nga ang “ What’s Your Flava ?” ni Craig David. Hip hop kasi. Umiindayog na balakang yata ang tahasang salin sa hip hop . Magandang pangitain ‘yon. Hanggang banyo na lang naghahasik ng lagim sa pag-awit, aba’y masarap ang lagaslas ng mainit na tubig sa mga d...

BALIK-TANAW: Humingi ng saklolo si Rodolfo Noel “JLo” Lozada Jr. sa kanyang hepe sa Department of Environment and Natural Resources, kay Secretary Lito Atienza para makaiwas-pusoy ang una sa pagdinig ng Senado ukol sa maalingasaw na transaksiyong ZTE-NBN—nahirang ng NEDA ang JLo bilang technical consultant sa semplang nang proyekto. Pangulo din noon si JLo ng Philippine Forest Corporation. Na saklaw ng DENR, kaya talagang kay Lito Atienza unang dudulog ang Lozada para maghinga ng mga problema—kung baga sa militar, ugnayan ng commanding officer at field operative , isasaalang-alang ng pinuno ang kaligtasan ng kanyang tauhan sa larangan, saanmang laban… Kay Atienza isinumbong ni JLo na maraming nagbabanta sa kanyang buhay—kinakabahan na siya. Pinayuhan ang huli na magtungo sa Hong Kong saka tumuloy sa isang pandaigdigang pulong sa London habang naghahanda ng mga hakbang para mapangalagaan ang kaligtasan ng JLo. (Teka muna, hapit na kapit at katakam-takam-takam-takam, tambok talaga tumb...

A LAHOY! Alahoy! Narito na naman Ang Sisong Kantanod ay ating binuhay Taludtod ay uyam at kagat ng guyam Igkas na bibigkas ng katagang punyal. Maiksi ang kumot—dapat mamaluktot. Sawikain nating hindi sinusundot… Nakup, nagkamali… hindi nasusunod Kaya kalagayan: nagkahindut-hindot! Baka raw umabot sa one trillion dollars Itong gagastusin upang makaiwas Sa tuluyang meltdown of the banking system Nitong sumambulat iyang Lehman Brothers… So plunk down good monies to chase those that went bad Upang manumbalik ang tikas at tatag Pati kabuhayan muling mamayagpag Kaya pakanang Bush dapat daw ilatag. Pero teka muna… nakakapagduda Itong ilalargang planong salbabida. Dagdag na pabigat—uutang pa pala Dambuhalang utang lalong aalagwa! Indeed, a little leak can sink a giant ship Kapag lumubog na’y kayhirap masagip Sa banging malalim naman ibubulid Those U.S. taxpayers , sila ang sasabit. Tonto at Loan Ranger itong Amerika Ay, utang na nila, doon nabihasa Kaya nang bumagsak lalong nataranta Lubog na...

Y OU can read this, chew through the core of every word, and grasp what’s written, consider yourself blessed. You took choices that accrued some pluck and lots of luck. You just don’t survive—you thrive. Millions of others aren’t so lucky: 11 million amongst us are left crawling in the dust, hardly knowing what horrible twist and turn may happen in their lives. In today’s knowledge-driven economies in which skills and competencies translate to higher per capita earnings, those millions are virtual lepers. The lepers multiply like a contagion. The disease neither abates nor ceases. We may mourn and weep: “11 million Filipinos lack the required literacy skills to provide livelihood for themselves and their families now and in the future, according to the Department of Education (DepEd).” The findings were gleaned from a 2003 study—that means such millions swelled some more in numbers, the pestilence still spreads, more likely in quantum progression—and who can prevent them from, say, vot...

Kalam-sikmura ng anak sa doodles11006@yahoo.com: G OT the surprise of my life when this creature came up at my worksite. The ever inquisitive prick I am I went to pick it up-- ha-ha-ha… a hedgehog... it’s now under the care of a Malaysian colleague since I couldn’t watch it as constantly as I can... it’s named Sonic after Sonic the Hedgehog.... it’s still in its adolescent stage I think and it’s pretty defensive with small grunts but he's cute...looks like a rat that had overgrown hairs sticking out of it.... at least this one gazes at me it will be more acceptable rather than that poor excuse of a falcon who mocked me way, way back. Ramadan has officially started here...and I am having a hard time trying to keep up with not eating for nearly an hour, let alone a few more hours to say the least; I need to store up fats, winter months are coming up again so I’ll be bloated again… sarap kumain ‘pag malamig kasi so for sure mas lalong magiging kamukha ko si Bonyat.. Oh and I have me...

S INIMULAN na ang pagwasak sa mga illegal fish pens at fish cages – pawang mga rehas sa tubig—na nakaharang sa bahaging Cavite ng Manila Bay. “Higit na may karapatan sa likas-yaman ng Manila Bay ang mga maliit na mangingisda kaysa mga may-ari ng mga illegal na baklad na pawang nagpapasasa sa salapi at ni hindi mga taga-Cavite,” diin ni Environment and Natural Resources Secretary Lito Atienza nang pamunuan niya ang pagwasak sa mga baklad sa 180,000-ektaryang lawak ng Manila Bay. Saksi si Cavite Gov. Ayong Maliksi at mga 150 mangingisda nang simulan ang pagbuwag nitong Agosto 27. Tinukoy ni Atienza na kabilang ang mga illegal na baklad sa mga pangunahing sanhi sa kabiguan ng pamahalaan upang maisulong ang malawakang pagsisinop sa Manila Bay. Hindi pa rin nakakatupad sa itinakda ng kanilang kontrata ang Maynilad at Manila Water—hindi pa nakakapagpagawa ng sewage treatment facilities kaya nagiging tambakan pa rin ng katas-pozo negro ang Manila Bay. Pahayag ni Atienza: “ This demolition ...

K UNG lumagpas na sa katakam-takam na edad… 69… at ang tumitigas na lang ay mga kasu-kasuan… far over the hill to go scuba diving more or less at a depth luscious and lush between two feet of a dilag, este, sa maalat-alat, umaalon-alon at maginaw na dug-out, whoopsydaisy , dagat nga pala… kailangan nang ibuhos ang loob—dahil nga hindi na makapagbalik-loob ni maibandila sa taglay na tagdan ang pagbabalik-loob sa yungib na pinagmulan—todo-buhos ang loob sa pagtuklas ng kaalaman mula Lumang Tipan! Go bury yourself between the pages … titigilan, huhumpayan na ‘yang mga pakikilala, pakikiliti’t pakikilibing… because there’ll be meatier morsels of canned thoughts in the Scriptures. Seek like a heat-seeking missile does and it’ll be a blast. Malakas ang kutob kong natuklasan ni Lola Berta ang nakalahad na lihim sa Lumang Tipan ukol sa pagpapanumbalik ng sigla ng katawan kahit lagpas na sa edad-69… umabot nga si Lola Berta sa 120 taon, nasilayan pa ang pagsibol ng ilan sa kanyang mga apo sa t...

T HERE was one instance in our Sierra Madre forays when we forgot to bring a pot, we had to cook (1) KANIN or boiled rice in bamboo sections— combine one part rice to one part plus a teaspoon water for soft, fluffy cooked grains—broiled over embers. Water boils quickly at higher elevations due to lesser pressure, kanin sa kawayan done in about 15 minutes. After that, it became convenient for the kids—I have four of them-- not to bring a rice pot in a cookout cum tree planting incursions in the mountains or anywhere in the outdoors where bamboo thrives. These easy-to-cook recipes can be duplicated in any kitchen, less the fun of bonding and actually doing it together as a learning activity. Let’s give you a mountaineer’s sense of (2) HUMMUS : Broil six medium-sized eggplants over live coals until done. Peel out skins. In a bowl, mash eggplant pulp with two cups boiled garbanzos or chickpeas. Season this chunky yet creamy mush with salt, pepper, and minced garlic. Add chopped tips of r...

S WARTHY-LOOKING cuddly ball of fun and sun, 4-year old toddler Clarence Day Tog-aco of Puguis-- a village in the upper rim overlooking Trinidad Valley in the Benguet part of the Cordilleras-- polishes off everything his mom offers him. Boiled chunks of sayote, kamote or gabi; fistfuls of parboiled crisp watercress; sticks of carrots, mustard or radish raw and crunchy; helpings of steamed saluyot tops; a leg of chicken pinikpikan ; a wee tidbit of hearth-smoked pork called inasin ; floret after floret of broccoli, mostly greens that most kids his age would squirm at, push away or refuse to sink their teeth on. His mom confesses to a fondness for such humble fare. She has passed on that food fondness to her son, likely in keeping with the counsel of Israel’s King Solomon, “Teach a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Compared to children in other parts of the country, one among five kids in the mountainous Cordillera region—the highest consum...

M ALAYONG makagawiang gamitin ang binabagong sagisag sa piso. Php—parang “pahipo” ang katumbas kapag binuo, para bang napakailap na’t iglap na umiigkas, talilis palayo na parang nagulantang na bayawak, parang nagsusungit na’t ayaw magagap ni mahigpit na mahawak… ano bang pasintabi pa sa paghipo? Sunggab at masuyong lamutak agad… isagad. Mas humihimas sa puso ang nakagawiang sagisag: titik P na tinuhog sa gitna ng dalawang guhit… kahit na katunog ng pussy kapag binali-baligtad ang piso, higit na maginhawa’t umaantig-umuuntag-umuuntog o kikiliti—sige, ipagdiinan ang unang dalawang pantig sa “kikiliti”--sa pakiramdam ang tinuhog na titik P, lalo na’t masusulyapan, buong banayad at hinay na babasahin ang makahulugang isinasaad sa kumakalat na kamiseta, “malaki ang titikO.” Pero lupaypay na pahapay ang Php—sinakmal sa pangil ng inflation. Kung ihahambing sa timbang ng isasabong sa ruweda, kinaltasan pa ng 11.4 libra ang 100. Ano’ng panama ng Manny Pacquiao na titimbang muna bago sumagupa s...

W OOZY and a bit crazy from having a beer too many, I spat the question to Dennis Fetalino: “What’s a 75-year old man who has 10 kids doing on the roof? Flying a kite? Kids nowadays don’t know a rat’s ass about flying kites or frying pans or do they?” My beer buddy shook his head clearing cobwebs while I mumbled to myself a monologue scratched off ‘Fiddler on the Roof'… “Dear God, You made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it's no poor to be shame. But it's no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune…?” In these tropic parts, a 60-degree incline—a whistle-bait gradient in feminine waist tapering to sumptuous thighs-- to tin, tile, or thatch roof assemblage assures neat water run-off. So what’s a septuagenarian doing at the rooftops except acting out a metaphor from the Broadway musical? It’s an earnest try for a firm footing over precarious circumstances while scratching out a lively tune to flout the risks to life a...

I T took about two or three years before the three resident toads in our home garden turned from egg globs to full grown croakers. A pregnant toad mom must have strayed into our home yard one night, hopped into a rainwater-filled Vigan jar there to latch a jelly-like nursery sac replete with eggs on the jar’s rim. Delivery done, she had hopped on to parts unknown, never seeing how her eggs hatched into tadpole-youngsters to swim with several damselfly nymphs and daphnia teeming in that jar… That soft-shelled turtle found at a nearby creek, brought home, and dumped in that jar by my youngest child, that turtle must have gorged and grew fat on the hundreds of hatched tadpoles before crawling out scot-free…thank goodness. Out of less than a dozen tadpoles, three toughed it out hanging on to life. ‘Twas odd that their metamorphosis took 2-3 years. It only took weeks for toad eggs to turn up as fledgling princes-to-be… our resident toads must have taken their time enjoying the security of a...

THE late mathematician and author Isaac Asimov wrote sometime in the 1980s about the growing imbalance between matter and energy in this neck of the universe—so much energy is being turned up as human flesh, breed in abandon and feed upon resources which grow scant through the years. ‘Twas a mind-blowing mode of squaring off with growing population pressure upon the planet’s dwindling resources. A potshot at the quality of people teeming like maggots upon the land’s moribund carcass: fuck and shuck… wipe off the plate, fornicate… fornicate… wipe off the plate… Human activity has spawned global warming which, in turn, has whacked out global timetables in crop production to feed earth’s billions—hey, Thomas Malthus missed out on people fucking up the reality of our planet’s clime that, in turn, screwed up food production. Malthusian fears were limited to people cranking out more and more people until food supplies, renewable and non-renewable resources dwindle to a murderous minimum. So ...

S NAPPING snippets of life with a mobile phone’s built-in camera don’t suit me yet, at a loss I’m still at which buttons to press to grab a moment, transfix an image—pixel-pocked picture—and have it for keeps. The hand’s faster than the eye, uh, even for too many a thigh-- sense of touch, tactile turning to tactics can pack more filling. Much more fulfilling feeling than sight, why, luscious eyefuls can be had hands-on, or maybe trigger a hard-on taking delight in holding rather than beholding, most especially lush geography thrumming smack between thighs, hah, feel it… An entry in the web log mangkokolum.blogspot.com is a full-length drama I’ve adapted from a Japanese folk tale, “The Picture Wife.” My daughter asked me to write it as a Tagalog play for children for showing on a Valentine’s Day. And had it dubbed “ Larawang Kapilas-Puso .” Lewd landlord falls for the portrait of a lovely woman who happens to be the missus of a lowly peasant. Landlord grabs the peasant’s missus and aft...

I T was more than an implement—tough as metal, soft as petal—wielded like lightning to repulse conquerors. Invading Mactan in 1521, Ferdinand Magellan and his men must have thought that their fabled Toledo steel swords would be more than a match more the island’s native defenders—they were dead wrong. The Spaniards never knew what hit them. In the 1900s, American occupation forces in Mindanao particularly in the Sulu islands found themselves under constant harassment from what they called “crazy hermits” or juramentados . The native fighters would fast for days, go through special religious rites, then go forth to storm American garrisons. Even as the .445 caliber pistol was plied out in 1911 to stop seemingly unstoppable fighters, the Americans still never knew what hit them. Looking back with pride at such points in history when their fighting mettle was unleashed in battle, Filipino Muslims, especially the Tausugs of Sulu will, with a little nudge and tug at their patriotic sentimen...

T HE national leader embodies a 6th part of the nation’s people and their karma. Stumbled upon this arcane trivia some years back during an on-and-off rambling through Hindu Vedic lore, uh, vedas = truth and that’s supposedly something to deliver us from evil, now and in the hour of our debt or demise, whatever’s more comfy. Say as the sacred texts affirm, karma = being. So we can take that when a figurehead represents a sizeable fraction of the populace and their karma, that arcane tidbit refers to human beings. And not just the ordinary types, these particular blokes have the national leader’s traits, inclinations, mindset, quicksilver temper and tantrums, maybe idiosyncrasies and propensities, tell-tale facial mole, warts, and all. The leader’s after all the embodiment of these beings, human or otherwise. These beings make up a sixth part of the national head count of 86 million. That’s around 14.167 million. That’s a critical mass of numbers whose archetype, avatar, prime exemplar...