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Sick education


SA kabuuan ng lunan, hindi matatastas mula Intramuros—panloob na mga pader—ang Puerta Real… hindi basta makakaltas ang sampirasong suriso, kahit ito lang ang ginusto, sa buong bulugang baboy.

Eh batugan ‘yung baboy kaya ang binubulog ang kumakayod para may ikabuhay sila… lalo na ang pasusuhing anak. At madalas na hindi sapat ang kita sa paninilbihan sa madalas kong puntahan para lumaklak at mamulutan… malasadong inihaw na tahong o hilaw na sariwang talaba.

Natutudyo: “Bakit ba mga korteng ‘kuwan’ ang paborito mo, sir?”

Iglap na mapaklang pakli: “Pampatigas.”

Saka ibebelat na paulalol ang dila—sa totoo’y ito ang mudra o pang-antig sa aliw at saya ng bathalumang Kali na nagkukuwintas ng 52 bungong sumasagisag sa mga titik ng wikang Sanskrit… pintakasi rin ng kamatayan, kali-arnis at kalaripayat na isa sa mga ninuno ng iba’t ibang sining-tanggulan. At idadagdag, “’Ta’mo nga, naninigas na’ng dila ko, mwa-ha-ha-ha-hyena!”

Uh, 2006 findings somehow point to a theory that women’s preference for funny men “could be rooted in evolution, because wit demonstrates creativity and intelligence, and therefore a good set of genes.”

Too, “a sunnier disposition can lengthen your life, regardless of age, weight or smoking habits… positive emotions can help you see life’s bigger picture.”

Say, marriage is a wonderful institution… did she commit herself to that institution as the desperate commits mistakes, suicide or adultery? Uh, wedlock is quite a complicated stranglehold to get into, one can’t just tap out in surrender to signal the referee that you’re within an inch of getting choked to death and the fight’s done with.


Anupa’t lubusang napalapit siya sa aking puson… mapapasok, masasaliksik ang Intramuros o mga panloob na pader mula lagusang Puerta Real.

Pasintabi na lang pero hindi laging pino ang pamimili or fine selection… ikakatwiran niyang hindi pamimilit nang ibigay niya ang katawan sa mamimili (mabilis ang bigkas nito, and it translates as ‘buyer’), siya na ang pumili ng mamimili. It’s her own body; she asserts her own choices on what to do with it, other than childbearing for a pig.

Pasintabi na lang uli batay sa nahalungkat na aral sa karanasan… mas masaya yata kung isama sa aralin ng mga bata ang livestock raising o paghahayupan. Aba’y maiuugnay ang sex education sa pag-aalaga’t pagpaparami ng baboy, baka, manok, kambing, gansa, itik, tilapia, pla-pla, tupa’t iba pang kakataying hayup… kasi nga, kasama ang iba’t ibang alagaing hayup nang iatas ni Yahweh, “Humayo kayo’t magpakarami.”

Livestock raising, I’d say, is as relevant to basic food security—around 12 million Filipinos are food deficient, can’t afford to get nearer to the food threshold—and appreciation for the finer points of sexual responsibility, good breeding, nurturing values, and what it takes to prepare for and attain better quality of life for, yeah, God bless the beasts and the children.

Pansinin ang halimbawa ng Maykapal, gumawa muna ng pagsisinop sa agro-forestry, mariculture and fishery, land/water resources management, and wild livestock raising… inuna muna ang kabuhayan. Ganoon muna ang ginawa bago gumawa ng tao, mwa-ha-ha-haw!

Sorry, I’m no pulpit bull out to chomp off the faithful’s ears, pero ganoon sana ang ibinubusina sa mga pulpito.

(The plant accompanying this is a Lycopodium cernuum, known in Tagalog as "lamon-babae.")

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