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Tsismis

DIRT-POOR’S now the most preferred political status, dirty linen the most swished about political pennant, and compost, the most-seen political composure… shift happens and blessed be with dust devils, basta h’wag lang idamay pa si Alikabok ng Ilocandia!

Yeah, dumi is for dummies (but Rumi, I’m a huge fan of this poet-mystic-artisan of Sufi Islam who was once accursed to death not unlike a Salman Rushdie with fatwa).

Pero kahit ilang beses akong matawas ni Joey Salgado, magsasawa siya sa katatawa’t katatawas pero hindi ko talaga iboboto alinman sa mga kumakandidatong amo niya… kahit sa sangay ng rentas internas sa Makati pumapasok ang kinakaltas na buwis sa aking kita… pawang makatas at malamukot kasi ang kikitain (sige, ipagdiinan ang bigkas sa mga pantig) sa pinapasukan (at nilalabasan) sa Makati…

Kasi naman rehistrado ‘kong manghahalal sa siyudad ng San Jose del Monte, Bulacan… at kahit sa paniwalang Sufi, tahasang bihasa sa paggamit ng patalim at pagkatay ng animal ang manghahalal… madumi’t madugo ang halalan, ‘dre
, why, polling precincts ought to be called slaughterhouses.

And as wont to a haruspex divining the future from innards of butchered carcass, I’d rather have most candidates—running for elective posts, running on empty, running like runny noses, running amok-- done in… we’d really love to see and say sooth rosier omens for the nation from their innards. Amen?

“’Yang may streamer ng kalaban, ‘yang bahay na ‘yan, ipagigiba ko iyan,” buga ng kandidatong laging naliligo sa anino sa harap ng maraming tao. Inulit ang ganoong bugang pusikit sa isa pang bahay na may nakasupalpal din na mukha ng karibal.

Hangos na lumabas mula
car wash establishment—may nakatapal pa ring mukha ng karibal-- ang isang tagahanga ng kandidato na nagkataong nagpapahugas ng sasakyan doon, makikipag-kamay sana… pero sinalubong, hinugasan ng mura ng kandidato. Inakala na sa tagahanga ang naturang hugasan.

Gulantang ang tagahanga, naturol yata ang katotohanan sa sawikain: “Bago pansinin ang uling sa mukha ng iba, uling sa sariling pisngi ang pahirin muna… at kung sa uling todo hilamos tila, kay Dr. Vicki Belo dapat magpa
-derma.”

Kabuntot ng ganoong pangyayari, siniraan ng mga kalaban sa pulitika ang kandidato… que sera sera raw ang ama nito kaya malamang na que sera sera din ‘to… what will be will be.

Ang masakit pa nito, ipinagkakalat ng mga karibal na h’wag na h’wag daw iitiman ang bilog na hugis-itlog sa kanyang pangalan sa opisyal na balota… lalo raw itong magpupuyos sa galit.

Dirt-poor’s now the most preferred political status, dirty linen the most swished about political pennant, and compost, the most-seen political composure… shift happens and blessed be with dust devils, basta h’wag lang idamay si Alikabok ng Ilocandia!

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