MANGKOKOLUM!

IMAGINE racing at a sole-scouring, lung-wracking breakneck speed against a wild boar, that’s meat for a day or two, in a sun-swept sea of thorny briers and grasses… the chase halts to abrupt pause for a sneezing fit and sudden bloom of blisters on your skin touched off by a deluge of pollens in the air… the meal is to go, is gone like a gust of wind, and you trudge back home empty-handed to content on an assortment of tubers and berries the missus gathered… and such food fare triggers more skin blisters, vomiting and other allergic reactions… Were that the case for our ancestors in ages past, we’ve been history… kaput, gone extinct. Fossil findings reassure our progenitors weren’t such wimps and sissies that we have turned into these days, why, if all it takes is leaping three feet as indicator of over-all health, some Tutsis in Rwanda shame the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters—they jump at least their own height during initiation rites into manhood. Roman legions did over...

BRING forth delight o pukawin ang tuwa ang tahasang katuturan ng mudra. It’s touching off happiness, well-being and a wholesome feeling right at your finger tips… the outmost physical extensions of the bodymind. Mababawasan ang pagtunganga, bunganga, at todong katangahan sa gyan mudra—the mudra of knowledge . Pasubali: exempted sa bisa nito ang mga ipinanganak sa row 4 at talagang nawiwili sa pagpapakabobo… aba’y masayang umawit, “brain, brain go away… come again election day.” Dulo ng hinlalaki at hintuturo ang pinagdidikit, bubuo ng bilog na puwang, nakaunat ang hinlalato, palasinsingan o dumalaga at hinliliit. Pampatalas ‘to ng isipan kaya akmang-akma sa mga gunggong na walang magawa sa buhay kundi tumanga na sanhi upang maging talamak ang katangahan… yeah, we define what we become in what we do... do nothing, you’re nothing. Inaantig ng gyan mudra ang ductless pituitary and endocrine glands upang unti-unting mag-agas ng kanilang katas… para maapula, maampat, malunasan ang m...

DIRT-POOR’S now the most preferred political status, dirty linen the most swished about political pennant, and compost, the most-seen political composure… shift happens and blessed be with dust devils, basta h’wag lang idamay pa si Alikabok ng Ilocandia! Yeah, dumi is for dummies (but Rumi, I’m a huge fan of this poet-mystic-artisan of Sufi Islam who was once accursed to death not unlike a Salman Rushdie with fatwa). Pero kahit ilang beses akong matawas ni Joey Salgado, magsasawa siya sa katatawa’t katatawas pero hindi ko talaga iboboto alinman sa mga kumakandidatong amo niya… kahit sa sangay ng rentas internas sa Makati pumapasok ang kinakaltas na buwis sa aking kita… pawang makatas at malamukot kasi ang kikitain (sige, ipagdiinan ang bigkas sa mga pantig) sa pinapasukan (at nilalabasan) sa Makati… Kasi naman rehistrado ‘kong manghahalal sa siyudad ng San Jose del Monte, Bulacan… at kahit sa paniwalang Sufi, tahasang bihasa sa paggamit ng patalim at pagkatay ng animal ang manghahalal...

SINAMPAHAN ng kasong sibil ang dalawang survey firms kaugnay ng mga inilabas nilang kuro ng mula 1,200 o higit pang bilang ng taumbayan sa pinagnanasaan nilang ihalal na Pestedente sa Mayo 10. H’wag nang ihambalang pa ang nasabi ni Charles Prestwich Scott yata, “ Comment is free but facts are sacred.” O kahit ang giit ni Mark Twain, “ Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” O ang ‘kainis na hirit ni Dr. Thomas Fuller: “ Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong.” Sa madaling sabi, hindi magandang kasuhan ng paninira ng puri o paninila ng pera ang sinuman sa higit 1,200 taumbayang sampay-bakod na nasukol, binuhusan ng tanong at sumagot kung sino ang kahayok-hayok na kanilang iluluklok sa trono ng Malacañang. Aba’y sinuman ang nais lumublob sa kumunoy, kailangan munang arukin ang lalim—o babaw—ng paglulubluban… ‘hirap yatang umahon sa kumunoy, ‘di ba? Pulos kuro lang ang inilahad sa dal...

KARANIWANG nakasupalpal nitong dekada 1960-1970 sa tapalodo ng jeepney ang ganoong tagubilin— distancia amigo. Sa matinong pagmamaneho kailangang dalawang segundong takbo o katumbas ng kahit apat na sasakyan ang nakapagitang layo. Sapat na raw ang ganoong puwang—ayon sa mga motoring safety experts upang makaiwas o makakuha ng buwelo ang nakabuntot sa iglap na sakuna. Nakahiligan yata ng mga nagmamaneho sa kasalukuyang panahon ang bisyo ng mga taga-Sodom. Kaya salpak-palpak sa wetpaks, kahit hindi buhol-bulbol ang trapiko. “ Suki ” ang tawag sa ganoong kritikal na agwat sa karatedo, aikido , at kendo . Sasablay sa ganoong puwang ang taktika, tiyak mabibigwasan, hindi maiiwasan ang disgrasya. Parang magkatutok-buntot na mga sasakyan o halos magkakadikit na mga domino—kahit isa lang ang laglag, daming damay sa pagbagsak. Tama talaga ang isang guro ng geopolitics , Karl Haushofer. Natukoy niya ang katuturan ng lebensraum or living space : “ Space is not a vehicle of power. It is powe...

BUSTOS, Bulacan – Local sanggunian alderman and farmer Gorgonio “Goniong” Mendoza reached for the grog bottle, poured himself a stiff shot, then, spilled out his plaint: “We begged for a tumbler. We were given a thimbleful as gesture of generosity, then, the entire swimming pool’s contents were diverted to Metro Manila.” Thus describing the sharing scheme for the water generated from Angat Dam which provides 90 percent of Metro Manila’s water supply with the remainder irrigating farmlands in Tarlac and Bulacan towns and generating hydroelectric power for National Power Corporation, Mendoza rued about the impact of such sharing scheme on the lives of local farmers. “The Angat-fed summer crop provides for a bumper rice harvest whose proceeds allow farmers’ families to pay for the schooling of two or three children in high school or college, aside from the extra money for cost of living. Before El Niño struck, a summer rice cropping yields about 120 to 140 cavans per hectare in Angat-fed ...

TATLO daw ang mga kinagigiliwang gawi o habit sa araw-araw ng mga bilyonaryo: (1) Magsanay ng katawan, (2) “ Follow your passion, (3) Read. A lot. At least two hours a day, but many said they read four or more hours a day. ” Kaya naman sigurong gayahin— monkey see, monkey do . Baka nga maging tuso tulad ng matsing na napaglalalangan din paminsan-minsan. At makapulot ng sanrekwang diskarte mula kung anu-anong aklat, libro’t tomo (ladies’ drink yata ang katumbas ng toma bago tamaan ng lindol at aftershocks, shaken, not stirred )… It’s quite tough to read between the lines or between the thighs . Talagang pagpapawisan nang malapot… lalo na kung higit nga sa apat na oras na magbabasa— does that last word translate as reading or inundating ? Halimbawa’y “know yourself, know the enemy; in a hundred battles, a hundred victories.” Parang Sun Tzu din ang tagubilin ni Socrates— “know yourself, the unexamined life is not worth living. ” O ‘yung giit ni microchip pioneer Gordon Moore noon pang 1...

MAINAM daw ang simoy ng hangin sa bahaging iyon ng Sierra Madre pero talamak naman ang singaw ng mga batugan ng mga tagaroon kaya tiwangwang ang lupa… parang dilag na nakabuka ang hita’t naghihintay sa sudsod ng dila’t suyod ng batuta. Nagpalipas sila doon ng mga mahal na araw. Pinuno ang hininga ng dalisay na hangin. Tinakalan ang bahay-alak ng saganang tungga. Hinimod sa tingin ang baog sa pananim na tanawin. Nagpalamutak sa yakap ng maghapon at magdamag. Sumangguni sa ‘kin matapos makabalik mula bakasyon. ‘Kako’y pulos panis ang balakin nina gibo, Gordon, Noynoy at Villarroyo upang masawata ang pagdarahop sa naturang lupalop. ‘Entrepreneur’ comes from a French word which means ‘to undertake.’ Thus, an entrepreneur is an undertaker—and sloth is a deadly sin. Kaya higit na praktikal at tila umaayon sa takda ng Kasulatan ang lunas ng hinayupak na V. I. Lenin. Bawat araw, tipunin ang 10 batugan. Utasin ang isa… mauubos ang mga talamak na tamad na hindi talaga kikilos upang gumawa ...

...THAT He gave His only begotten Son, an example by deed that’s too tough an act to follow, but some nations like China—admittedly the world’s mightiest in both economic and military power—had trouble adopting a similar one-child policy. As the Scriptures would have it, the same Son was quoted as saying in rebuke to a Judas Iscariot who was feigning concern for the have-nots but was actually dipping his hands into their funds: “You have the poor with you always, but you will not always have me.” There down pat-- the in-your-face reality of dearth on earth, the human condition. But in pre-election campaigns, Judas Iscariot copycats are wont to ply out sugar-coated sound bites in feigned appeal to vote-rich hordes of the impoverished gullible enough to believe. By such fruits we shall know who these liars are in our politically afflicted times. The barefaced liar that Judas Iscariot was went on to betray the Son of Man, consequently saw the error of his ways and made attempt at atonemen...