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Suso, puki-puki, atbp.

NO THINKS for the mammary but it’s not what you thank, oops…

Rather not suckle on fist-sized freshwater snails some folks call escargot— quite plenty of such in the river that feeds Bustos Dam in Bulacan. In years past, we used to gather a basketful or two of ‘em, gave the booty as peace offering to my father-in-law. In turn, he whipped out a spicy alchemy of coconut cream, ginger, chilies, and kangkong.

The recipe is easy as pie. Saute: 5 cloves crushed garlic, 5-6 pieces minced lasona (shallots) and two thumb-sized ginger cut up in julienne strips.

Next, dump-toss there 2-3 cups (no, no, not C- or D- or such cups that fit snugly onto an interesting female body part) of suso.

As the wonderful juices ooze out of the suso—and such juices do seep as intense heat nudges suso to let its juices out—pour 1 cup coconut cream (the so-called kakang gata, hindi po kangkang yata).

Then, add 5-6 whole finger chilies (siling pansigang, opo, hindi pangkalikot na daliri sa suso) and a cup of chopped kangkong (swamp cabbage) to the affair. Simmer for 3 minutes. Serve steamy hot with newly cooked rice.

Maybe this humble fare sucks.

But did anyone say ‘comfort food’?

There ought to be more than comfort in uncomplicated barriotic cookery. Enjoying suso can be an exercise in revving up one’s sucking powers that can be applied to… well, we’d rather hold cards close to one’s breast. Yes, suction speaks louder than words: knead, er, I mean hold suso by the stubbed tail-end, suck the open end as one does a nipple—and out the firm flesh comes to tickle tongue with wee gobs of rich cream and grit. Round it out with a mouthful of tongue-scalding rice plus a slurp of the creamy yet fiery soup. Ah, this is the life!

Isn’t that comforting?

This dish sits well with another dish that calls for eggplants—charcoal-broiled and skinned, the pulp mashed, then sautéed in olive oil with lots of garlic.

This yummy delight is aptly called puki-puki.

Ah, praise the lewd!

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