Monday, July 12, 2010


POOR bloke had the rotten luck of getting hitched to a Filipina guttersnipe whose creed was greed. She solely drooled after the choicest portion of the male anatomy below the waist—his wallet.

The ending to the marriage rite for the Doolittle couple had the bride keeping the flowers and throwing away the groom—and honeymoon bed went to worse as groom turned gloom… he was thrown in jail, oh, curses!

Barry Doolittle is still in the calaboose, poor American who fell in love with the Philippines… trudged through a tough course to be naturalized as a Filipino, taught Netizens on web design and development… amiable fellow but it looks like his Filipino friends and erstwhile students in computer know-how have deserted him.

Unlike ex-Basketball Association of the Philippines official Graham Lim who had munificent friends the likes of businessmen Benny Antiporda and Jerry Yap—they spent a tidy sum to bail him out from incarceration at a Bureau of Immigration and Deportation cell—Doolittle found himself in a similar circumstance of injury and penury.

‘Tangna, gano’n din ang sinapit ng isang matalik na katoto, a genius who wrote and spoke several languages, was a prolific man of letters who reaped writing awards here and abroad but was committed to an insane asylum by his own kin… all they wanted was his estate… so they put him away.

He knew beforehand such fiendish plan… so he entrusted to my care his grimoires, tomes on witchcraft and arcane stuff that his kin were earnestly intent on burning; such articles putatively foment deviltry and vileness. But not greed.

Greed—Sanskrit term is lobha, which connotes “gravely ill” in Tagalog-- is never moderated hereabouts… talamak… malubha… inuuod at naaagnas na.

Ex-People’s Journal editor and lawyer Toto Causing told me that he’ll look into the Doolittle case… ah, if the love of money be the root of all evils, what an enduring romance we are having with Mammon… and we daily stuff ourselves to the gills with avarice and fish.

Sure, sure… this is the only Christian nation in Asia and Christians supposedly hold—uh, can be dropped, ditched or defenestrated for convenience anyways-- the belief that greed is a deadly sin. Deadly alright but the greedy is killing the likes of that old man Doolittle.

There’s a slim chance that P’Noy will lend his ear to Doolittle’s sad plaint and plight.

Or Doolittle can try his luck at daily invoking at the small hours an angel called Simikiel who “grants destruction, vengeance and punishment only if deserved.” If not, such lethal cocktail that so-called devout Filipino Christians deserve comes back threefold on the invoker.

Uh, I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t love that George Bernard Shaw musical, “My Fair Lady” that had an Eliza Doolittle as a charming character.