Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Celebrity debt match

IN his final radio broadcast, the late Eleazar S. Lopez cited that of the six trillion peso-debt grinding the nation’s back to shreds, two trillion were incurred from Manuel L. Quezon to Joseph E. Estrada’s tenure—and the Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo administration turned up a scrotal crusher P4 trillion.

Such sum must have prompted a Malacañang minion to plead to a gathering of public relations experts, “save GMA!”

Such sound bite could have been plied to breadwinners throughout the country as a request to save P200 bills. That’s where a GMA portrait is shown as she is sworn in. A kid holds a Bible on which GMA has placed her palm—that kid ought to have carried a stack of Bibles to get the rite done right. Recent reports have it that kid has turned rueful about her part in that ceremoney. Yeah, ceremoney.

We really could use a lot of P200 bills. P200 lately amounts to two orders of beef mami and softdrink plus extra bowl of broth at R. Ma Mon Luk in Quiapo. Break no fast and suffer, a P200 bill can cover lunch and supper.

To put money where mouth is, Malacañang minions ought to try such dietary tack daily to crank up savings that could be aligned to subsidize cost of instant noodles.

Say. To cozy up to US support to shift the country’s current pesodential to a payolamentary, este, parliamentary government, a Macapagal-Arroyo ally contracted last July 2005 a Washington-based lobby firm called Venable LLP to the tune of P50.4 million (at that time around $900,000)a year. Compared to the sums that super featherweight Manny Pacquiao got in his most recent outing, that crew of lobby lawyers stand to chomp on-- at lesser risk and body damage-- more monies than our Pacman.

The recent pleading for help from spin doctors could cost a lot more than subsidy monies for instant noodles—talk isn’t cheap these days.

With the likes of “Hello Garci” characters working on Malacañang’s corner, public relations experts need oodles of cash cobbling up cheering squads to root and pray for GMA, peks man.

To rivet attention of crowds and fiddle on their sympathies, a face-off along the lines of a boxing match, a UFC tussle, something akin to WWE wrestlemania-- that needs to be mounted. Warakan ng mukha. Pisakan ng mata. Paluwaan ng isaw. And we ought to cater to the Filipino youth that has turned cynical and wary of political schemes and scams. Let’s make gaya-gaya puto-maya h’wag-ka-nang-mag-aksaya-‘di-mo-ba-kami-kilala to that MTV staple—Celebrity Death Match!

Hey, let’s be serious about this, huh?

Say, pit Big Mike Arroyo vs any Iron Chef. GMA vs Sadako. Ignacio Bunye vs Eminem… Mike Defensor against Green Goblin. Storm in wind-blowing tiff with Raul Gonzalez. Calvin & Hobbes vs Garci.

Potential million-dollar-earner pairings ought to be endless.

It ought to be wicked fun to watch that.

That ought to be spectacular entertainment. Let’s have it aired pay-per-view. And rake zillions to wipe out our mammoth debts.

1 comment:

Rizalist said...

DONG,
Say, you could be onto something here with Celebrity Death Match. NING has some tools i think for making something like that happen in a blog. Haha, more power to MANGKOKOLUM!