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Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may erectile dysfunction

IBINALIBAG ng isang mahilig sa habalakibur@hotmail.com – electronic mail address ko ‘to – ang mga larawan ng umaatikabong pakikipagdaupang-ari ng isa umanong Ethel Booba.

Alumpihit na bumalikwas ang kung ano sa ulunan. Linawin natin-- ulo sa dakong itaas, hindi dakong ibaba.

Agad na binalikan ang nagpadala ng kumakatas-katas na kalatas. ’Kako’y kapag pumalo na ang tulad ko sa edad-50, kailangan nang hindi makita. Kailangan nang may taga-bulag sa balana. Mas kailangang ituon ang punyagi sa sariling gawain kaysa isubsob ang pansin at paningin sa pangitaing kikilig o titimo -- h’wag naman masyadong ipagdiinan ang unang dalawang pantig ng mga naturang pandiwa—sa tuktok at kuyukot.

I sure splurge on tons of steamed manioc (Manihot esculenta or plain old balinghoy) as cheap source of glucose to keep the gray matter fully stoked to a blaze. Manioc extract also turn up distilled as old-time favorite ginebra bilog ang mundo na kahugis ng what a hind sight of JLo—and that keeps parched throats shaken, not stirred. That diet of manioc doesn’t exactly make one a maniac.

Tukso rin ang marahil ang pilyong e-mail address—habalakibur@hotmail.com

Naunang isinadlak sa aking e-mail ang mga larawan ng hubot’hubad na anyo ng isang Diana Zubiri. Higit pang naunang naipukol ang pusikit na karimlan sa hinaharap ng isang Joyce Jimenez.

Hindi ko yata nasagi ni nasagasa ang mga pangalan at pangitaing Ethel Booba, Joyce Jimenez, Diana Zubiri atbp. sa pagliliwaliw at paghahalungkat sa dambuhalang sapot ng Internet.

Para bang mga ginilitang manok. Pinapahimulmulan. Pinakakaliskisan. Saka titilarin na tila tatal. Pamparikit at pamparingas ng apoy. Kako’y kahit Year of the Cock ngayon hindi kailanman nakahiligan ang kakatwang sabong o pagsasalang ng ganyang putahe. Sa totoo isda’t tandang lang ang nakagawiang kaliskisan.

Meron pa ngang isdang hindi na kailangang kaliskisan. Sole sa English. Achirus declives sa Latin. Salatin sa sariling atin-- tampal-puke.

Isa pa’y wala talaga akong hilig sa mga hilatsa’t hitsura ng sinumang umaaligid sa telebisyon o pelikula—imaheng anyo man o totohanang tipak-tipak na laman.

Ply me no shapely well-stacked carcass. I got to an age that’s no longer curious at whatever’s between their legs. The times rare as feathers on frogs that I got a glimpse of their ilk on the idiot box, the images opened their mouths and promptly inferred to viewers they had a tank of farts between their ears.

Remember that funnyman Groucho Marx? "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Now, we ought to put to rest that adage we swore by ages ago: If there’s nothing to pick between their ears, why, there’s always something to prick between their radish-smooth legs.

Talagang masarap matikman ang laman. (Eh ano ba ‘yang tinakam ka lang sa putahe na kikilatisin o tititigan lang, hindi naman malalantakan? Ano’ng suso, este, sustansiya ang pakikinabangan sa ganoon?)

Pero mas mataimtim at matiim ang linamnam ng kaalaman. (Spare me a body of knowledge anytime.)

Totoo rin na ang hindi lumingon sa lunggang pinanggalingan, hindi na titigasan.

Pero ibang usapan na ‘yan.


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