Skip to main content

Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, may erectile dysfunction

IBINALIBAG ng isang mahilig sa habalakibur@hotmail.com – electronic mail address ko ‘to – ang mga larawan ng umaatikabong pakikipagdaupang-ari ng isa umanong Ethel Booba.

Alumpihit na bumalikwas ang kung ano sa ulunan. Linawin natin-- ulo sa dakong itaas, hindi dakong ibaba.

Agad na binalikan ang nagpadala ng kumakatas-katas na kalatas. ’Kako’y kapag pumalo na ang tulad ko sa edad-50, kailangan nang hindi makita. Kailangan nang may taga-bulag sa balana. Mas kailangang ituon ang punyagi sa sariling gawain kaysa isubsob ang pansin at paningin sa pangitaing kikilig o titimo -- h’wag naman masyadong ipagdiinan ang unang dalawang pantig ng mga naturang pandiwa—sa tuktok at kuyukot.

I sure splurge on tons of steamed manioc (Manihot esculenta or plain old balinghoy) as cheap source of glucose to keep the gray matter fully stoked to a blaze. Manioc extract also turn up distilled as old-time favorite ginebra bilog ang mundo na kahugis ng what a hind sight of JLo—and that keeps parched throats shaken, not stirred. That diet of manioc doesn’t exactly make one a maniac.

Tukso rin ang marahil ang pilyong e-mail address—habalakibur@hotmail.com

Naunang isinadlak sa aking e-mail ang mga larawan ng hubot’hubad na anyo ng isang Diana Zubiri. Higit pang naunang naipukol ang pusikit na karimlan sa hinaharap ng isang Joyce Jimenez.

Hindi ko yata nasagi ni nasagasa ang mga pangalan at pangitaing Ethel Booba, Joyce Jimenez, Diana Zubiri atbp. sa pagliliwaliw at paghahalungkat sa dambuhalang sapot ng Internet.

Para bang mga ginilitang manok. Pinapahimulmulan. Pinakakaliskisan. Saka titilarin na tila tatal. Pamparikit at pamparingas ng apoy. Kako’y kahit Year of the Cock ngayon hindi kailanman nakahiligan ang kakatwang sabong o pagsasalang ng ganyang putahe. Sa totoo isda’t tandang lang ang nakagawiang kaliskisan.

Meron pa ngang isdang hindi na kailangang kaliskisan. Sole sa English. Achirus declives sa Latin. Salatin sa sariling atin-- tampal-puke.

Isa pa’y wala talaga akong hilig sa mga hilatsa’t hitsura ng sinumang umaaligid sa telebisyon o pelikula—imaheng anyo man o totohanang tipak-tipak na laman.

Ply me no shapely well-stacked carcass. I got to an age that’s no longer curious at whatever’s between their legs. The times rare as feathers on frogs that I got a glimpse of their ilk on the idiot box, the images opened their mouths and promptly inferred to viewers they had a tank of farts between their ears.

Remember that funnyman Groucho Marx? "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Now, we ought to put to rest that adage we swore by ages ago: If there’s nothing to pick between their ears, why, there’s always something to prick between their radish-smooth legs.

Talagang masarap matikman ang laman. (Eh ano ba ‘yang tinakam ka lang sa putahe na kikilatisin o tititigan lang, hindi naman malalantakan? Ano’ng suso, este, sustansiya ang pakikinabangan sa ganoon?)

Pero mas mataimtim at matiim ang linamnam ng kaalaman. (Spare me a body of knowledge anytime.)

Totoo rin na ang hindi lumingon sa lunggang pinanggalingan, hindi na titigasan.

Pero ibang usapan na ‘yan.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this:

"Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well."

Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass.

When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-destruct. T…

KASI NANLABAN

Viagra au naturel

IT LOOKED eerie—a blaze of fireflies pulsing like stars in the nippy air, throbbing with mating passions. That show of lights somehow eased the shadows of a Holy Thursday night on a dry river bed a few kilometers trudge up Mount Makiling.

It’s likely that no river has lain in sleep for months on that moss-grown, boulder-strewn bed—except my 20-year old kid Kukudyu and I. We were out to spend the night, do on-site learning sessions by the next day. Usual father-and-son bonding. As the late Benjamin Franklin once begged: "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Past noon from the foot of the mountain’s northern section, it took us four hours ploughing non-stop through prickly bushes and forest undergrowth to get to that site. We got there in one bruised piece. By then, dusk was falling; the sylvan air hummed with a trill of crickets, cicadas, critters nameless in choral orison. That incessant “sh-r-r-e-eemmm---“ layered with “k-kr-r-eeengg--” …