WIT IS SWEET, LAUGHS WIN IN LOVE

WITH a whit of editing (and a few snippets of bon mot), I got this Agence France-Presse story laid down pat in 2014 as a story for the page I was putting to bed, ah, it keeps its cogency and urgency to this day. Whew, a broadsheet page entails grappling with 3,000 words, and for four years, I grappled with 6,000 words six days a week; that really had my head swimming and giddy and groggy:

"EVERYONE can sense what’s between the thighs; too few have sense between their ears.

"Homely ones oozing a sense of humor appear to get the better over their good-looking but dull peers in the Philippines' dating game, according to a pre-Valentine's Day survey published on Thursday.

"Given a choice, nine in 10 adult Filipinos told survey group Social Weather Stations they would pick 'a man/woman who has a sense of humor.'

"Ten percent want 'a man/woman who is good-looking but has no sense of humor.'

"It's more interesting to be with someone who has a good personality because good looks will fade over time," said Josefina Natividad, director for the University of the Philippines Population Institute.

"While the Philippines has produced many winners in international beauty pageants, Natividad said physical beauty was not that important in Filipino culture.

"'As a culture we're not that obsessed with beauty, but we are bombarded with advertising trying to convince us that good looks matter,' she told Agence France-Presse.

"The Manila-based pollster said 94 percent of women chose sense of humor over looks, even if that person was physically unattractive. This compared to 86 percent of men who prefer humor over looks.

"Social Weather Stations polled 1,550 adults across the largely Roman Catholic nation between December 11 and 16."

AFP

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ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina...

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky...

Wealth garden

‘TWAS CRUEL as smashing a budding green thumb: some years back, an abuela warned me about letting any clump of katigbi (Job’s tears or Coix lachrymal jobi for you botanists) from growing in our homeyard. That grass with rapier-like leaves that smelled of freshly pounded pinipig supposedly invited bad luck and sorrows—why, that biblical character Job wailed and howled a lot, didn’t he? (But was later rewarded with oodles of goodies, wasn’t he?) Then, I came across some arcane text that practically goaded folks to grow katigbi in their gardens—why, there’s a starchy kernel wrapped shut in the seed’s shiny coat. A handful or more of kernels could be cooked as porridge. Too, one could whisper a wish upon seven seed pods, throw ‘em pods in running water—a river or stream—and the wish would be granted! I was warned, too, about planting kapok or talisay trees right in the homeyard—these trees form a cross-like branching pattern. Pasang-krus daw ang bahay na kalapit sa puno ng kapok, tal...

MANGKOKOLUM!

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