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Doing a few turns in his grave, Eleazar S. Lopez is

ELY S. Lopez the late broadcaster would have reveled and rollicked in song at the current antics of Malacañang denizens, he’d probably be laughing all the way to a calaboose for having wicked fun at their expense.

An off-key soap opera soprano, Lopez would have cackled out tunes with barbed lyrics often lashed like a manta tail to torment an asuwang, to discomfit the current Palace top tenant.

He’d rebel? Nope, he would have revelled at the discomfort he causes to Ale Baba and Plenty Thieves.

Sa Russia may Moscow. Sa China may Macau. Sa Pilipinas marami magnanakaw,” he’d intone and cap it off with a villainous chuckle.

He’d likely wonder aloud why it is taking ages for the Supreme Court to ply out a ruling on various challenges hurled at such unpalatable figures as 464 and 1017—the former sewed off shut the mouths of any government factotum or official haled to public hearings, the latter declared a state of national emergency after an alleged emergency. Such a state or statement ought to be an allegation.

Lopez would feign a sulk and crass disappointment at judicial slowpokes, maybe mumble something about escargots de conscience as tasteless, quite inedible or incredible a cuisine or it may take aeons to cook turtle soup. The zany asides may lessen risks of the High Court’s contempt: he’d be pointing out links and debts of gratitude owed by certain appointees to appointing fingers from the Palace. He’d balk like a banshee, bawl out such impish insight in song—ah, he kept two thick songbooks at his People’s Journal office desk. He grubbed and ripped tunes off those songbooks.

He missed out on a song for drunks Kung Alam Mo Lang Violy done by Gary Granada in 1984, and goes like this:

Kung alam mo lang Violy/Kung alam mo lang Violy
Kung alam mo lang Violy ang totoo
Kung alam mo lang Violy/Kung alam mo lang Violy
Matagal ka na nilang niloloko

Hinihingi ng ubriru
Ay itaas na ang swildu
Ang ginawa ng gubyirnu
Itinaas ang presyu

(Repeat Refrain)

May midyum tirm debelupmeynt
Uutangin ang imbesmiynt
Panot na ang enbayrunmeynt
Tuwang-tuwa ang gubirmint

Ely, he’s missing out on a lot of fun that he could have whipped out on the air. He went the whole hog, busted the ratings with off-the-wall snatches of tunes spiked with acerbic wit. Ah, he may even profess envy for ex-lawmaker turned fugitive Gringo Honasan, now most wanted with a P5 million tag price on his head. He’d likely compare him with the Palace resident who, as survey after survey point up, she remains unwanted.


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