Skip to main content

Doing a few turns in his grave, Eleazar S. Lopez is

ELY S. Lopez the late broadcaster would have reveled and rollicked in song at the current antics of Malacañang denizens, he’d probably be laughing all the way to a calaboose for having wicked fun at their expense.

An off-key soap opera soprano, Lopez would have cackled out tunes with barbed lyrics often lashed like a manta tail to torment an asuwang, to discomfit the current Palace top tenant.

He’d rebel? Nope, he would have revelled at the discomfort he causes to Ale Baba and Plenty Thieves.

Sa Russia may Moscow. Sa China may Macau. Sa Pilipinas marami magnanakaw,” he’d intone and cap it off with a villainous chuckle.

He’d likely wonder aloud why it is taking ages for the Supreme Court to ply out a ruling on various challenges hurled at such unpalatable figures as 464 and 1017—the former sewed off shut the mouths of any government factotum or official haled to public hearings, the latter declared a state of national emergency after an alleged emergency. Such a state or statement ought to be an allegation.

Lopez would feign a sulk and crass disappointment at judicial slowpokes, maybe mumble something about escargots de conscience as tasteless, quite inedible or incredible a cuisine or it may take aeons to cook turtle soup. The zany asides may lessen risks of the High Court’s contempt: he’d be pointing out links and debts of gratitude owed by certain appointees to appointing fingers from the Palace. He’d balk like a banshee, bawl out such impish insight in song—ah, he kept two thick songbooks at his People’s Journal office desk. He grubbed and ripped tunes off those songbooks.

He missed out on a song for drunks Kung Alam Mo Lang Violy done by Gary Granada in 1984, and goes like this:

Refrain:
Kung alam mo lang Violy/Kung alam mo lang Violy
Kung alam mo lang Violy ang totoo
Kung alam mo lang Violy/Kung alam mo lang Violy
Matagal ka na nilang niloloko


Hinihingi ng ubriru
Ay itaas na ang swildu
Ang ginawa ng gubyirnu
Itinaas ang presyu

(Repeat Refrain)

May midyum tirm debelupmeynt
Uutangin ang imbesmiynt
Panot na ang enbayrunmeynt
Tuwang-tuwa ang gubirmint


Ely, he’s missing out on a lot of fun that he could have whipped out on the air. He went the whole hog, busted the ratings with off-the-wall snatches of tunes spiked with acerbic wit. Ah, he may even profess envy for ex-lawmaker turned fugitive Gringo Honasan, now most wanted with a P5 million tag price on his head. He’d likely compare him with the Palace resident who, as survey after survey point up, she remains unwanted.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina...

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky...

Wealth garden

‘TWAS CRUEL as smashing a budding green thumb: some years back, an abuela warned me about letting any clump of katigbi (Job’s tears or Coix lachrymal jobi for you botanists) from growing in our homeyard. That grass with rapier-like leaves that smelled of freshly pounded pinipig supposedly invited bad luck and sorrows—why, that biblical character Job wailed and howled a lot, didn’t he? (But was later rewarded with oodles of goodies, wasn’t he?) Then, I came across some arcane text that practically goaded folks to grow katigbi in their gardens—why, there’s a starchy kernel wrapped shut in the seed’s shiny coat. A handful or more of kernels could be cooked as porridge. Too, one could whisper a wish upon seven seed pods, throw ‘em pods in running water—a river or stream—and the wish would be granted! I was warned, too, about planting kapok or talisay trees right in the homeyard—these trees form a cross-like branching pattern. Pasang-krus daw ang bahay na kalapit sa puno ng kapok, tal...