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Preparan.. Apunten.. Pwe! Go! Go! Go!

PREMATURE campaigning with an eye to getting booted… I mean, voted… in the coming erection smacks of premature ejaculation. Madaling labasan, este, nagpapalabas agad dahil kulang sa, umm, muscle control?

But that's not downright loud, lewd or obscene, nais lang ng mga kakan… thoughtless me… hinahangad lang ng mga kakandidato na isupalpal kung saan-saang media ang kani-kanilang pagmumukha upang matandaan at maibaon na tila muhon sa utak ng bobotante. Sabi nga, iba na ang maagap kaysa may C-5 at taga.

Nahapyawan nga namin sa Qur'an na ang mga walang pakundangan sa paglustay ng salapi ay pawang "kaanak ng demonyo." Kaya sampahan man ng patong-patong, suson-suson, sapin-sapin, puto-kutsintang asunto ang mga nagkukumahog umarangkada para makilala ng balana't bahala na, tiyak na ikakatwiran lang nila: "The devil made me do it!"

Kaya naman ang inyong imbing lingkod nananatili sa pagwawagayway ng pinaka-astig na kandidato-- Pisteng Yawa para Pistedente ng bansa!

Ang pagpili ng ihahalili kay Hayden Kho… Of all the unlikely political bets, here's one who unabashedly shows the nation how to properly screw… And we've been getting screwed by all these pols… it's nigh that the screwing be done transparently and in plain sight… este, ang ipapalit nga pala sa Numero Unano ay kailangan ng malalim at matalim na pagsipat.

Preparan… Apunten… Pwe! Go!

Sa ganyang dahilan tahasang aangkop ang mungkahi ni Sen. Miriam P. Defensor-Santiago. Ratratin na lang ang mga kupal, este, silang makakapal ang kutis-aspalto overlay sa kongkreto. Such a suggestion can uphold the sanctity of the bullet.

Pero hayaan muna natin silang lumustay ng limpak-limpak na salapi upang kahit paano'y magtamasa't magtampisaw ang iba't ibang media sa saganang kita. Kikita po kami. Titipak kami-- h'wag naman ipagdikdikan ang bigkas, nagiging katakam-takam ang tuhog, oops, tunog.

Dapat ngang maging pamantayan ng mga balat-kuwero't katad ang naihayag na minsan ng Miriam-- bawat nagnanasa na mahalal sa Mataas na Kabuhungan o Senado ay lalaspag ng P200 milyon; bawat nahahayok na mailuklok sa Palasyo ay gagastos ng P3 bilyon.

Kaya bago natin sila ubusin, dapat lang na lubus-lubusin na sila'y maubusan. We know they're running-- maybe running out of breath or running amok. But let 'em run and run after the farmer's wife/ who cuts off their tails with a carving knife/ have you seen such a sight in your life? Let 'em run. Until they run on empty.

Para kahit wala nang bala, may magagawa pa ring paraan.

Ramadhan pa rin po ngayon. Sinu-sino ba ang nais nating ma-hal'al? Para hindi kasuka-suka ang mga 'yan. Para maatim ng ating sikmura. Makatwiran lang na bago sila gilitan ng leeg, usalin muna ang matamis na pangalan ni Allah. Hal'al po ang tawag sa ganoong pamamaraan ng pagkatay… wholesale slaughter is, of course, halalan, pwe-he-he-he!

Comments

Rodrigo said…
Magandang araw po,

Ako si Rodrigo, isang estudyante sa University of Asia and the Pacific.

Nais ko lamang malaman kung kayo ang nagsulat ng maikling kwento na Gamugamo sa Kalawakan. Bilang parte ng asignaturang Filipino, ninais ng aming guro na makahanap ng mga mgagandang maikling kwento at basahin at unaawain ito. Kasabay ng hiling ng aming guro ay ang pagtalakay sa manunulat ng mga maikling kwento na aming hinanap.

Kayo po ba ang nagsulat ng Gamugamo sa Kalawakan na nanalo bilang ikalawang gantimpala sa Carlos-Palanca Awards noong taong 1984?

Maraming Salamat po.

-Rodrigo Escobar

rodrigo_diego5000@yahoo.com

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