Skip to main content

Don’t we deserve a go at her?

AS that ancient manual on sex-- Kama Sutra—would have it, congress is two people of opposite sexes screwing each other.

The Congress we’ve grown too familiar with to the point of contempt, why, Congress isn’t only the opposite of progress. Congress is viewed by pundits as over 200 people screwing the entire nation—and we’re not even enjoying their mode of coition.

More than the perks and pork that send ‘em members of Congress into feeding frenzy, there are certain denizens there who dangle monies—shucked off taxpayers’ pockets, of course—to any well-stacked broad or number they take a fancy to or get the hots on.

A little birdie told us about this putative lawmaker on the prowl for young, fresh carcass, the supposedly hard-to-get types which induces any frog—filthy rotten old goat, that’s what it is—to drool like a famished canine. A frog like that is also called palakaplog.

This particular lawmaker skips the niceties of the chase.

Why go through the travails of a chase when oodles and oodles of taxpayers’ money can be used for outright purchase?

So this honorable member of the Casa de los Diputados – pardon the name which sounds a tad close to a house of women of ill-repute-- takes a fancy on a sweet young thing. He hovers over like a hawk spotting a stray chick, asks for the chick’s bank account number. If she hasn’t any bank account number to her name, why, the honorable solon would oblige to open one for her.

Strictly a pecuniary transaction—he opens the bank account for her benefit, she opens her legs for his benefit. We might as well erect a signpost on her mons pubis: “This is where your taxes go.”

The price tag don’t matter much: a whore’s a whore whether she’s paid a measly P300 or a cool P3 million for her carnal services. This generous lawmaker plunks down P3 million to avail of a sweet young thing’s services.

Of course, the sumptuous sums come from us, taxpayers.

Why, we equally hot-blooded taxpayers deserve to have a go at any of his young wards. We deserve to enjoy the pleasures which our monies were used to procure.

All told and as coffeeshop pundits have it, the Rep. honorific tabbed in a lawmaker’s name actually spells out as Reptile.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this: "Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well." Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass. When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-de

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina

Wealth garden

‘TWAS CRUEL as smashing a budding green thumb: some years back, an abuela warned me about letting any clump of katigbi (Job’s tears or Coix lachrymal jobi for you botanists) from growing in our homeyard. That grass with rapier-like leaves that smelled of freshly pounded pinipig supposedly invited bad luck and sorrows—why, that biblical character Job wailed and howled a lot, didn’t he? (But was later rewarded with oodles of goodies, wasn’t he?) Then, I came across some arcane text that practically goaded folks to grow katigbi in their gardens—why, there’s a starchy kernel wrapped shut in the seed’s shiny coat. A handful or more of kernels could be cooked as porridge. Too, one could whisper a wish upon seven seed pods, throw ‘em pods in running water—a river or stream—and the wish would be granted! I was warned, too, about planting kapok or talisay trees right in the homeyard—these trees form a cross-like branching pattern. Pasang-krus daw ang bahay na kalapit sa puno ng kapok, tal