Skip to main content

Bigas?


JENNIFER Lopez na may katikim-takam na hugis ng tumbong—‘yan ang maiisip kapag naungkat ang big ass.

Idagdag na rin—Charice Pempengco. Scuttlebutt has it-- or I must have misheard totally since I’m a Def Leppard fan—she was having some buttocks injected into her face. Why the most tempting portion of Jennifer Lopez’s anatomy has to be plunked onto her face, such facial reconstruction left me aghast, ah, farting is such sweet sorrow…

Paurong na talaga ang takbo ng, uh, thoughts… on beauty as its own lame excuse for being—we’re not going forward, all such vain attempts at beautification can only point to sodomy… even accountants and auditors don’t have in their word stockpile anything about rear entries.

O tempura, o mores! (Yeah, faces back then could launch a thousand ships and paper boats that can sail up to the Palace by the Pasig, butt are now dredged with shrimps. We’ve become the butt of jokes.)

Sumisingaw pa sa mga balita na, talagang kahindik-hindik, nabubulok lang daw ang big ass! Infested with weevils and indescribable sort of evils… this sphincter asphyxiating portion has been brought to you in part by the medication that shrinks hemorrhoids without surgery, pwe-he-he-he-he!

If memory serves, it was someone named Salsalselda—hey, I’m a Def Leppard fan!—who kept track on the surge in rice futures trading at the hellish heights of the past year’s El Niño phenomenon… hey, futures trading is sheer guesswork on outcomes of crop yields; speculators out for fat profits hurl bids for such future harvests, and in turn, make or break crop prices.

Sure, such speculators are out to make a killing as they feed nightmares of rice importers, to nudge ‘em into panic buying. And rice futures prices was at an all-time high… stoked by fears of global crop failures and consequent grain shortages owing to El Niño’s onslaught.

With something like 90 million people to feed in 2009 polishing off 33,000 metric tons of rice per day, rice-growing Philippines buys overseas more than 10% of its rice requirement. So who was it that pushed the panic buying button?

To the injury, add the insult of a food importation policy in lieu of self-sufficiency to attain food security.

Nagpapamudmod naman ng bigas sa mga batang nag-aaral ang nakaraang administrasyon—abot nga sa P3 bilyon taun-taon ang gastos sa food-for-school program para ibsan ang gutom ng mga pamilyang kulang sa P50 ang pantustos sa pagkain araw-araw. Pero tinatalbusan pa rin ang P3 bilyon, mwa-ha-ha-haw!

T-teka, kung saan-saang tigmak na bukirin tuloy napunta ‘tong usapan ukol sa tambok ng tumbong ni Jennifer Lopez—na kahit bukirin o buka rin, talagang pagnanasaang araruhin.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kuntaw

I T was more than an implement—tough as metal, soft as petal—wielded like lightning to repulse conquerors. Invading Mactan in 1521, Ferdinand Magellan and his men must have thought that their fabled Toledo steel swords would be more than a match more the island’s native defenders—they were dead wrong. The Spaniards never knew what hit them. In the 1900s, American occupation forces in Mindanao particularly in the Sulu islands found themselves under constant harassment from what they called “crazy hermits” or juramentados . The native fighters would fast for days, go through special religious rites, then go forth to storm American garrisons. Even as the .445 caliber pistol was plied out in 1911 to stop seemingly unstoppable fighters, the Americans still never knew what hit them. Looking back with pride at such points in history when their fighting mettle was unleashed in battle, Filipino Muslims, especially the Tausugs of Sulu will, with a little nudge and tug at their patriotic sentimen...
2 comments
Read more

LARAWANG KAPILAS-PUSO (Dulang Kyogen sa Pag-ibig at mga Musmos)

Mga Tauhan: Gombei, ang maghahabi Mariko, ang mananahi-mananandata, kabiyak ni Gombei Daimyo, ang panginoon ng kastilyo Mga Kanayon ni Gombei – pintor, panadero, magbubukid, tindera, atbp. Tatlong Paslit Tatlong Alalay ng Daimyo Dalawang Korombo bilang mga Diwata/Apsara sa Hangin Ilang Kataga sa Pagtatanghal at Tanghalan: Halaw sa isang kuwentong katutubo mula Japan ang akda. Isinalin sa anyong kyogen – dulang katatawanan, mula rin sa naturang bansa. Inangkin sa puso at binigyan ng mga sangkap na Pilipino. Karaniwang sangkap sa kyogen ang kunwa’y di-nakikitang korombo, nakasuot ng itim at madalas na tagapag-abot ng mga kagamitan sa mga tauhang nasa tanghalan. Sa dulang ito, sagisag sa ihip ng hangin at pihit ng kapalaran ang dalawang korombo. Liban sa istruktura na anyong balkonahe sa kanan ng tanghalan at mala-balangkas ng dampa sa kaliwang panig, sayad sa lupa at hitik sa posibilidad ang pagiging payak sa kabuuan ng tanghalan. Sa ganitong kapayakan nakaka...
3 comments
Read more