Skip to main content

Pambansang ahit ng pilipitna

WITH due apologies to “Journey” front man’s thorax-throttling oral evisceration of our frog, flog, ehek, flag anthem, allow a kiddie doggerel version—please, please, please—to be squawked… no, make that croaked out sphincter soprano style; four beats in a measure with every quarter note getting dead beat—or 4/4, an out and out mismatch… march!


That, before the bout of one Jostle Clittey and Pacquiao you… until such a stabbing in-and-out beat ends in orgasm, yeah, flagpole plugs hole, mwa-ha-ha-haw!


So follows our more spirited— got in me 80-proof marka demonyo plus Ginebra Capitan —or what can be passed… no, make that pissed off as “Green-tinted ‘60s Mine” which is called Mr. Big…


(Ilagay ang kanang kamay sa dibdib… oops, akala ko kasi sa dibdib nitong katabing 40-24-36 na dilag… eh, bakit nakadakot ‘yang kamay mo sa harapan ko, you myopicpic beauty… Game knb? Tayo nang kuman… heh, bastos talaga kayo, mga hin… Preparan… Apunten… Fuego!)


Bayang inutang. ‘Di pa nababayaran. Bakit nangutang? Kinurakot lang.


Lupang hinarang, dayaan din sa counting. Sa “Hello Garci” ‘di ka mapipigil.


Sa dagat at bundok na kinalbo’t nilimas ng salot.


Nanood ang bobo sa Channel Two, sa Siete at Singko.


Ang kislap nang kislap mga flash bulbs—tinakpan ng Sunblock.


Stars daw at alalay sa kamera’y nagpapakamatay.


Sumpa ng araw—El Niño phenomenon! May climate change sa mundo ngayon…


Kung ang ligaya ay laging paaapi… ang mamatay ay kayo na lang!


Kung naikakahol ng Pambansang Kamao—ba’t walang Pambansang Kuko o Pambansang Mariang Palad?—ang mga karumal-dumal na tabas ng ahit ng isang Barberya ni Lito Anokamo sa Fairview, tiyak na kakayanin niyang ialulong ang Pambansang Awit… tipid pa sa pasahe sa eroplano sa aatasang kumanta.


Such a fight prelude can be construed as a novelty… no, I wouldn’t dare endorsing the late scenarist-auteur-pianist par excellence Ading Fernando to do the honors.


Pero kung gusto talagang gumastos lang at kailangan ng matinong rendisyon, maraming mahahagilap na marching band sa Malabon at Nueva Ecija… para sambarangay ang tutugtog, wala nang kanta, sa piyesa… walang magkakalat, at marami pa ang magiging masaya dahil may pagkakataon pa ang iba na mag-TNT.


T-teka muna… bawat henerasyon ay may gagawing pambabalbal sa pambansang awit. Nauna ko ngang natutunan ang mga balbal na titik nito sa aking kamusmusan noong dekada 1960… wala akong maulinig na anumang pagtatangka ng mga musmos sa kasalukuyang henerasyon na maglapat ng tagni-tagni't pinagtugma-tugmang taludtod…


And that’s so piteous a stab at musical non-creativity.


Please excuse me… got to listen to the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine”— their counterpoint theme to “God Save the Queen.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ALAMAT NG TAHONG

SAKBIBI ng agam-agam sa kalagayan ng butihing kabiyak-- at kabiyakan, opo-- na nakaratay sa karamdaman, ang pumalaot na mangingisda ay napagawi sa paanan ng dambuhalang Waczim-- isang bathala na nagkakaloob sa sinuman anumang ibulwak ng bibig mula sa bukal ng dibdib. Pangangailangan sa salapi na pambili ng gamot ng kapilas-pusong maysakit ang nakasaklot sa puso ng matandang mangingisda. 'Di kaginsa-ginsa'y bumundol ang kanyang bangka sa paanan ng Waczim. Kagy at umigkas ang katagang kimkim noon sa kanyang dibdib: "Salapi!" Bumuhos ng salapi-- mga butil at gilit ng ginto-- mula papawirin. At halos umapaw sa ginto ang bangka ng nagulantang na mangingisda, walang pagsidlan ang galak, at walang humpay ang pasasalamat sa mga bathala. Nanumbalik ang kalusugan ng kabiyak ng mangingisda. At lumago ang kabuhayan, naging mariwasa ang magkapilas-puso na dating maralita. Nilasing ng kanyang mga dating kalapit-bahay ang mangingisda-- na hindi ikina
Post a Comment
Read more

Cal y canto con camote

FENG shui (literally, wind water flow) lore has it root crops embody a hidden store of treasures. Say, a local food conglomerate needs yearly 35,000 metric tons of cassava for livestock feed-- the available local supply falls short of 13,000 tons. Cassava granules sell for around P9 a kilo. Demand for the same root crop to be used in liquor manufacturing is hitting above the roof. Why, raising cassava is a no-brainer task— this is one tough crop that can grow in the most hostile patches of earth, providing sustenance for ages to dwellers in sub-Saharan parts of Africa. While the hardy cassava is nearly pure starch, the lowly sweet potato or kamote is considered by nutritionists as a super food, the most nutritious of all vegetables— kamote levels of Vitamin A are “off the charts, rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties.” A fist-sized kamote can supply a day’s dose of glucose to fuel the brain, muscles, and organs, so they claim. Count the country lucky
Post a Comment
Read more

Every single cell of my body's happy

I got this one from Carmelite Sisters from whose school three of my kids were graduated from. They have this snatch of a song that packs a fusion metal and liebeslaud beat and whose lyrics go like this: "Every single cell of my body is happy. Every single cell of my body is well. I thank you, Lord. I feel so good. Every single cell of my body is well." Biology-sharp nerds would readily agree with me in this digression... Over their lifetimes, cells are assaulted by a host of biological insults and injuries. The cells go through such ordeals as infection, trauma, extremes of temperature, exposure to toxins in the environment, and damage from metabolic processes-- this last item is often self-inflicted and includes a merry motley medley of smoking a deck a day of Philip Morris menthols, drinking currant-flavored vodka or suds, overindulgence in red meat or the choicest fat-marbled cuts of poultry and such carcass. When the damage gets to a certain point, cells self-de
Post a Comment
Read more