MANGKOKOLUM!

S AWIKAIN ng mga Tagalog ang ipinagpipilitan: kapatid ng bulaan ang kawatan. Baka naman kaugnay ito ng inilalapat sa pangalan ng mga kawatan. Este, kinatawan nga pala sa House of Thieves, oops, House of Representatives, Ito ‘yung tinatawag yatang tahanan ng mga diputado o sa wikang Español, Casa de los Hijo de Putados. Madalas ngang tanggalin ang huling pantig na –dos kasi sobra sa 200 silang nakalublob doon. Lalaspag ng mga P 200 milyon para magkasundong bumuo bawat isang batas na walang balak maipatupad kahit palit-pangalan lang ng kalye o espinita. They’re kindred spirits, not kind , though. Tinatawag kasi sila, Hon . Your honor pa nga ang pasakalye bago sila magtaltalan sa kapulungan. Malakas ang kutob naming ito na ang tinutukoy ng kasabihan naman sa Ingles: There is honor among thieves . Hindi naman kami nagtataka nang dumagsa nitong nakaraang linggo ang mga your honor upang sumagpang ng agahan o almusalsal sa Palasyo sa Pasig . Sumulpot na lang sa mga bali-b

“D ON’T terrorize me again. Not these days when methane farts off Glorietta and Gloria.” Thus I farted off a few pesos worth of text messages like that after my son sent a P 20 load to my mobile phone. The load expires in 2 days—it takes me more than three weeks to fidget and fiddle a P 30 load off an idled mobile phone that takes after Samuel Butler. “To do great work a man must be very idle and very industrious.” Blame not this sucker for a quote on quietude: “Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence.” Besides, suction slurps louder than words. I don’t have to explain to folks I plied that two-sentence note to that methane buildup stems from corruption and rotten organic discards. If the gas buildup isn’t confined in a structure of sound integrity, lots of gas—and guise like lame excuses and news releases—are issued off. Such bouts of oral flatulence can be nauseous. The guys I sent that message to don’t have to be told in length that suspicions are rife ove